What We Fear the Most
by agapeandzoe
Summary: In the life of a police officer and an ADA, sometimes the past comes back to haunt you. Old cases, convicted felons, rapists, and murderers can all evoke fear when you have a family you would die for. When a notorious name and case from the Benson-Cabot's past makes a reappearance, it will take love and hope and logic, in the midst of chaos and emotions, to save one of them.
1. Chapter 1

1

* * *

"Olivia. _Stop_." Alex chuckled, cell phone to her right ear as she stroked the long hair of her ponytail, watching Theo push Grace on the swing before moving to Isabel and then repeating the action, over and over again, their little boy trying to be fair and equal when it came to the number of pushes he was doling out.

"Well, let me know and I can call Fin and have him send a patrol car out," Olivia kidded.

"That won't be necessary, Babe. No sign of Big Peter-Peter Pumpkin-Eater here today," Alex looked around and behind her at the branching trails of the park. " _Or_ his trench coat." Alex giggled. "God, it's so beautiful today, Liv. Not too cold, not too hot. I wish you didn't have to work."

"I know, Al. But I'll be home early. I'm leaving here as soon as Dr. Klein finishes his examination of a new patient and then we'll get her and her son and daughter settled into a room. So it'll be around one."

"Well…" Alex looked at her watch—eleven o'clock— "…how about we go out to dinner tonight? Take the kids to that new Hibachi Teppanyaki grill where they all get a chef's hat and get to see one of those onion volcanoes? They'll love that." Alex smiled as she watched Grace giggling as she went higher and higher.

"That sounds great, Al."

Alex could hear typing then, commotion in the near distance, where her wife was, at _Haven House_.

"Higher!" Isabel screamed.

"I _am_!" Theo yelled back before biting his tongue and giving her a hefty push.

"OK, Liv. I'll let you go. But I'll see you soon?"

"OK, Al. I'll call right before I leave to see if you need anything on my way home. OK?"

Alex smiled as she watched the girls get off of the swing and their brother get on one, both of her blondies standing behind him and ready. "Sounds good. I love you."

"Go! Push me!" Theo yelled.

The girls began pushing him with all of their strength, their ponytails already askew, little faces pink with exertion and the rays of the sun, tongues also sticking out as they used all their strength.

"I love you, too, Babe." And Olivia's end disconnected.

Alex ended the call and set the phone face down on her right thigh, still watching the kids from the bench where she was sitting. It was a gorgeous, cool, low-sixties, April morning and they had been in Central Park, just a couple of streets over from Lexington Avenue, for the past two hours and the kids were all beginning to show signs of exhaustion and hunger—little t-shirts and hoodies and jeans worn-in, wind-blown hair all over the place, rosy cheeks, sweat pasted locks around their foreheads and temples.

"OK, guys. Two more minutes and then we're gonna head back home and eat lunch. OK?"

Theo nodded. "OK, Mommy!" He giggled, his grin broad as he swooshed forward. "Yea!"

Alex stood and slipped her cell phone into her back pocket and then folded her arms, looking down at her jeans and navy crew neck sweatshirt, noting a couple of stray Hillary hairs on her top, as she walked slowly toward the graveled section where the kids were. She opened her mouth and yawned and covered it before looking around and then smiling at a couple pushing a stroller as they passed by.

"Come on, guys. Let's go. Off of the swings. Iz, get your jacket. You dropped it, Baby."

Theo and Grace came toward her then and reached out for her hands as Isabel moved to just next to one of the poles of the swing set and retrieved her pink sweat jacket that she had discarded haphazardly only a few minutes ago.

They all began walking down the paved path then, the trails surprisingly not busy, but the impending rain might have been a factor in what was keeping people away—that and the Tartan Day Parade that was happening at 44th and 6th Street.

Theo let go of her hand and walked in front of her and Isabel took her free hand, each girl now on either side of her.

Thunder rumbled in the distance in the east and it traveled across the sky and Alex looked up at the darkening clouds.

"Mommy. My shoe," Isabel squeaked.

"Well, let's practice tying it, my girl." She looked ahead and called to her son. "Theo, come next to me and let's wait for your sister."

Tying shoes was still a work in progress—especially the twins—and the ladies had been patiently teaching and re-teaching the process, all three having it down at this point, but all needing a little extra time to complete the task.

"Good girl, Iz. You got it." Alex smiled, watching her.

Theo squatted next to a hedge and began picking up a couple of small gray rocks while Grace pulled away from the blonde, their hands still together.

A man came around the corner then, walking a beautifully kept Boxer on a leash. The dog moved to a tree and lifted his leg and did his business, a nice stream exiting.

"That doggie is going to the bathroom, Mommy? On the tree?" Grace's expression was intrigued.

"Yes, Baby." Alex caught eyes with the man and they smiled.

He was young, attractive, shaved head, dark features, most likely Hispanic in ethnicity. His eyes were dark and intense, yet kind.

"Good morning," he smiled, his dog now moving closer and beginning to sniff the blonde's knees before moving to Grace, as well.

Isabel finished her shoes and took Alex's left hand again.

"Good morning." Alex looked at Theo who was still looking for rocks. "Come on, Theo. Let's go, Baby. Before it starts raining."

Theo dutifully walked up to her and looked up at the man, squinting against the sun that was peeking through the gathering clouds.

"He has your eyes," the man offered, pulling the leash and twisting it around his hand to shorten it, bringing his dog closer.

Alex narrowed her eyes at the man. "That's what everyone says."

"Can I pet the dog, Mommy?" Grace looked up at her then, using her hand to shield her eyes.

"It's the man's dog, my love. We need to ask him." Alex looked at Theo who was now watching the dog with interest.

"Do you want to pet him?" The man questioned.

Grace nodded quickly, smiling and Theo did, too, while Isabel moved closer to Alex and rested her right temple on Alex's side. The blonde wrapped her arm around her. "Go ahead, guys. Pet the nice dog."

"His name is Frankie." The man offered. "He's very friendly."

Theo and Grace squatted down and began petting the canine's short caramel brown fur—carefully, lovingly—their children so good with animals after being around Hillary for so long.

"He's a beautiful dog," Alex smiled, beginning to stroke the crown of Isabel's hair with her left hand.

"Thank you," the man declared.

Thunder rumbled once more, this time lightning accompanying it.

The man looked up. "Looks like it's gonna be a big one." He had a slight accent, perhaps one that he had had since birth that had gently faded over time. His gaze went to Alex then. "You probably have a nice, big house, though, to get back to. Keep you safe from the rain. Something fancy, I'm sure."

Alex studied the man now and saw a sudden coldness. She held Isabel's hand tightly. "Come on, Gracie, Theo. Let's let the man go. We need to get home." She held her right hand out and Grace came immediately, placing her own in the blonde's.

"Nice family you have. Beautiful kids. It's nice when a family can stay together and be there for each other."

Alex tried a smile and then moved up to Theo, nudging his backside with her knee. "Let's go, guys." She looked at the man once more. "Have a nice day."

"Did you think that tearing my family apart would end there?"

Alex froze then, the hairs on the back of her neck standing at attention.

"Did you really think that letting my father die in prison wouldn't have consequences?"

Alex's heart began to thud inside of her chest then, her hands beginning to tremble.

"Mommy?" Theo looked up at her, his brow wrinkled. He pressed the back of his head to Alex's stomach, staying close to her now.

Alex smiled down at him. "Let's go, guys. Come on."

"No," the man said, his tone calm. "I wouldn't do that. Besides…you won't get far." He turned slightly to his left to show Alex his back right hip, opening his red and white Fila jacket, the silver glimmer of a pistol peeking from his waistband.

Alex looked back at him, feeling her hands shaking even more now as she held her daughters' hands, feeling her body break out in a cold sweat, feeling her legs weaken beneath her. She steeled herself as she spoke, "My wife is a New York City detective, Sir. I'm not sure what you're trying to pull, but all I have to do is make a phone call and an officer or detective will be here."

He smiled then. "Same detective from thirteen years ago? The one with the short dark hair?"

Alex closed her mouth and swallowed then, not understanding how this man knew anything about her. Out of all of the cases they had closed, of all of the people they had put away, this had to be something that was related to one of those. But which one?

"I was thirteen years old, thirteen years ago, Ms. Cabot." He smiled again. "I was thirteen when my father was murdered in prison. And _you're_ the one who sent him there."

 _Zapata._

Alex felt her lower lip begin to quaver then, but she clenched her jaw, attempting to stop it and trying to appear strong.

"And I've been keeping up with you. We _both_ have…"

Just then, another man came down the path, into view, a similar look but shorter and more muscular, the same intense darkness to his eyes.

"My brother, Armando. And if I didn't tell you already…I'm Raul." He held his hand to his chest charmingly.

The other man stopped to the right of Grace then and her little girl looked up at him, squinting.

Alex felt her throat close up then and she swallowed hard, willing the tears away.

"Mommy?" Grace questioned.

Alex only smiled down at her, knowing that her face held fear and wasn't comforting in the slightest.

"Mommy, what's happening?" Theo's voice was high, innocent, scared.

"It's OK, Baby," Alex whispered, her voice barely audible.

Raul continued, "The press is a very informative organization. You can find out a lot about people. City workers, police officers, weddings. I spent my own time locked up for the same thing my father was in for." Raul leaned in then, as though telling a secret. "But I was never as bad as him." He grinned. "I guess you could say I continued the family business. Now, I'm out." He grinned and held his arms to the side. "And ready for payback."

Two bikers whizzed by then and Alex thought about screaming, yelling, but knew she would be risking her life and the lives of her children if she did.

"Do you like this kind of candy?" Armando held out a new, opened package of Starburst, offering the kids the first one—a red one.

Isabel's face lit up and she reached for the small square, smiling.

"No, Izzie!" Theo reprimanded. "Not from strangers!" He pushed her hand down.

The two siblings looked at each other then, Isabel's face red now, scowling, Theo's expression relaying much of the same irritation.

"I want a piece of candy!" she demanded, stomping her right foot.

"Iz…we're going home now to eat lunch," Alex tried, pulling all three kids closer to her body then, hearing the unsteadiness in her own voice, the uncertainty that was being relayed to her children. "No candy right now." She could barely hear her own voice over the pounding of her heart. She looked back at Raul. "Please," she said softly. "Please don't hurt my children."

The two brothers looked at one another and began laughing then.

"Like I said, Ms. Cabot…that mistake you made thirteen years ago…it just can't be forgotten. I got too good a memory. You should have let it go back then and I wouldn't be here right now." He looked at the kids and smiled. "Especially with so much to lose. You should have thought about your future. About your children's futures."

Armando spoke up then. "We all have to pay for our sins, ADA Alexandra Cabot." His mouth turned up into an almost devilish grin, his eyes sparkling.

"Please let my kids go. They know how to get home on their own." Alex leaned over, the palms of her hands on the girls' chests. "Right guys? Remember like Mama and Mommy showed you how? You remember how to get home from here…" she gasped then, her emotions overtaking her body in the form of near-hyperventilation, "…don't you?" She felt her face contort then and her sobs came on full force.

Theo nodded below her and Grace did as well, Isabel only looking up at her in confusion.

Alex stroked their hair again and looked back up at the men. "I beg you to let them go and do whatever you're going to do with me." Alex's mouth quavered violently. " _Please_ …" she whispered.

A trio of elderly people began walking by then and Raul placed his hand on his weapon casually, smiling at the older man and two women as they passed, his eyes glaring at the blonde at the same time.

Once gone, he looked at his brother and then Alex. "Let 'em go…" He motioned his head.

Alex let out a sigh of relief and then she squatted in front of them, putting her hands on her children's shoulders, their waists, trying to find comfort in touching them as she spoke. "Theo go straight home and go to Mrs. Ethan's and call 9-1-1." Alex swallowed, willing her words to come out, her voice to stop shaking, her face to stop contorting. "Go as fast as you can, Baby. OK? I need you to do that, Theo. Take your sisters and go straight there." Alex gasped, her tears coming fast, in torrents, as the rain began lightly and, within a few seconds, it was quickly turning into sheets.

Theo nodded, his own mocha face reddening, his eyes tearing. "What about you? Where are you going?"

"I'll be fine, my boy…" she placed her hand on his cheek, "…but you gotta do this right away. OK? Go straight to her townhouse." She looked at the twins who were both crying now, tears streaming down their faces.

Grace leaned in and hugged her, wrapping her arms around her. "Don't cry, Mommy," their brown-eyed girl soothed.

And then all three were leaned against her, hugging her.

"I wanna go with you, Mommy," Isabel gasped against her. "Can I?"

"Get them _out_ of here!" Raul barked.

The children jolted against her body at the clamor of his tone and then Alex pulled away and looked at the taller brother.

"Go!" he commanded. "Tell them to leave!"

"Go, Babies. Mrs. Ethan's. Right away, my loves. Don't stop." Alex stood then and watched as Theo took his sister's hands and began walking toward the trail that would lead them to the street. All they had to do was walk three streets over and they would be there. They had practiced it, at least, twenty times in the past two years.

Theo looked back and eyed her just as he disappeared around a hedge, his expression uncertain.

"Go, Theo," Alex whimpered, motioning with her hand before hiding her contorting face behind it. " _Run_..."

"Is the car there?" one of the brothers asked behind her.

"Yeah, it's there."

"Good."

Then a sudden, sharp, burning pain to the back of her head.

And the park, the spot where she had last seen her three children, and the world around her, all went black.


	2. Chapter 2

2

* * *

Olivia cradled her cell phone against her ear and her neck as the connection rang, this being her fourth time to try and connect to her wife. She slipped her lap top into her bag and then stopped, listening as Alex's voice picked up, yet again.

" _You have reached the voice mail of Alexandra Benson-Cabot. I'm not available at present. Please leave a brief message and I'll get back to you shortly."_

And then a beep. She hardly ever had to leave a message with her wife.

"Hey, Babe…I don't know if you _fell asleep_ …maybe you're _napping_?" Olivia smiled. "I'm about to head home and…just…" Olivia hoisted her bag onto her right shoulder, "…call me if you need anything. I'm on my way." Olivia took the phone from her ear and looked at it before depressing the red "X" and then slipping it into her back pocket.

She furrowed her brow as she grabbed her car keys from the top of her desk and then pushed her desk chair in and headed to her office door.

Ikie, the custodian for _Haven House_ was headed her way, cleaning supplies in a bucket in hand, and she smiled.

"You have a good evening, Ms. Olivia," she offered with her Haitian accent.

"Thanks, Ikie. I will. You, too." Olivia walked past her and headed down the hallway, thinking about her inability to connect with her wife. "Oh, and…" she stopped briefly and turned, "…I spilled a little coffee on the floor, but I wiped it up." She smiled. "I think I cleaned it all."

"No problem, Miss. I'll take care of it." Ikie smiled.

"Thanks. See you on Monday." Olivia continued down the hallway, past the front desk, waving to the reception nurse, Heidi, and then headed out the door.

It was unusual. Alex always had her cell phone on or, at least, near her, and not being able to reach her was almost an anomaly.

Olivia pushed the front door open and walked to the parking lot, spotting her Datsun, and then unlocked the doors with her key fob. She moved toward it and opened the driver's side door before moving to the back and opening it. She tossed her bag and purse inside and then shut it, just as her cell phone vibrated in her pocket.

She removed it, got in, and shut the door, looking at the screen. _Unknown Name_ popped up and she hit "decline" before setting her phone on her right thigh, looking ahead at the car in front of her—a black Mercedes—which she knew was owned by Doctor Klein.

She lifted her iPhone once more and decided to call Alex again, punching in the buttons and then lifting it to her ear and waiting.

But this time, something strange happened. The line picked up and then disconnected. Olivia took it from her ear and looked at the screen, reading that the call ended within six seconds.

 _What's going on?_ she asked herself before starting the car and shifting into reverse, pulling out of her space to head home and be with her family for the rest of the weekend.

* * *

She peeled her eyes open to blackness, quickly shutting them. All was opaque around her and she felt something on her face—fabric? Cotton? Wool? Whatever it was, it had no give, no breathing room, and she quickly felt suffocated and panicked. She tried to move her hands to remove the inhibition from her nose and mouth, but her hands, her wrists were bound, stuck to her sides. She attempted to move her feet, as well, and was met with the same encumbrances.

Her breathing quickened then as she opened her eyes and attempted to lift her head, a shooting, throbbing pain pronounced at the back of her cranium.

The place she had been struck just before everything disappeared.

She felt her eyes water as she lowered her head back onto, what felt like, a softness. Perhaps a pillow?

"She's awake," a male voice said then.

And she heard movement, rustling around, someone advancing toward her.

"Should we take the bag off?" a different male voice questioned.

"No. Leave it on."

She knew that particular voice. It was Raul. The one who had started this whole nightmare that she was currently experiencing, from the park.

Alex closed her eyes again, feeling the tears form in her eyes, feeling her mouth open in anguish, not believing that this was happening to her.

And she breathed, in slowly and out slowly, trying to complete inhales and exhales as the trepidation moved throughout her body, trying to find a normal rhythm once she realized what was actually happening to her.

"I wanna see her face," a foreign, deeper, male voice claimed.

"You'll see her soon, bruh. calm down!" Raul said impatiently.

And then, she felt warmth, a closeness next to her, over her, pressed against her left side.

"Alexandra Cabot." Raul asked. "You awake?"

Alex only gasped then, feeling her heart begin to race once more, a weight on her right hip.

She stuttered then, not quite knowing what to say. "I'm…I'm awake."

Then she felt something on the mask that was around her face, a lifting, a removing of the fabric that was surrounding her.

Then there was a light—not bright, but something. A dimness, as whatever it was that was on her head was removed. And she saw his face again.

She gasped as her facial covering was removed and then she looked at him, trying to accept the air that wanted to travel into her lungs.

She watched him, watching him grin back at her.

"Glad you're awake," he smiled.

Alex swallowed and then closed her eyes, feeling the shooting pain along her lower back and her lower head. She clenched her fists and tried to move her feet once more.

"Nah. You can't move," he added. "We tied you up."

Alex opened her eyes then and looked at him, studying his still-smiling face before moving her gaze to the right, around the room, noticing another male figure, and then further to the right and noticing a female, dressed in a black tank top and dark jeans, long, black hair, pronounced goth make-up, most likely someone who was a girlfriend or accomplice with them, in some fashion.

Alex moved to try and release her hands again, being met with the same hold. "Please…can you?"

Chuckling then. "Untie your hands? Nah…that would make it too easy for you."

Alex thought about her children. Thought about what she had told them to do. Wondering if they had followed her directions and had made it to Mrs. Ethan's.

She felt the tears form in her eyes once more thinking about this fact and then she closed them, swallowing and bracing herself, her face lifting to the ceiling once more.

"You're a fighter," Raul claimed. "and a bleeder…" he offered. "If you feel something on your nose, we had to hit you. Dumb bitch."

Alex moved her lips around then, bringing her mouth down, lowering it and bringing her lips together and feeling a certain sensitivity above it, smelling iron, feeling crusted blood just above her upper lip. "How long…how long have I been here?" she asked.

No answer.

She waited, listening for anything as her eyes remained closed. The pain in the back of her head was unbearable and now she felt the tenderness in her nose, felt the dried crust of blood just below it.

"Two hours?" Raul answered.

"Did my…did my _kids_ …?" she felt her face contort then, not able to finish her sentence.

"Hell, lady. I don't know. That's something I don't give a shit about," Raul informed her.

Alex lifted her face towards the ceiling and she clenched her jaw, feeling the tears fill her eyes, a stray one rolling down past her right cheek.

Theo and Grace and Isabel. She never wanted any of them to ever deal with any of her past cases. Never wanted them to feel the angst or drama, or repercussions of what she had once dealt with. But it seemed that this time, it had been unavoidable.

She decided to stay quiet, especially after hearing his callous remark. He didn't give a damn about their children, about what had become of them.

"Open your fucking eyes!" he bellowed.

"Yeah, she's a hottie," the other voice claimed. "For an old lady."

"Fuck you, Pedro! We're not here for this!" Raul yelled.

"Is she OK?" a female voice questioned.

Alex gasped and then tried to open her eyes and look toward the feminine voice, not seeing anything in the darkness.

She closed her eyes again, feeling the tears form, feeling the warm saltiness stream down her cheeks.

Alex clenched her hands then, trying to lift them from their hold once more.

"I don't give a shit what we're here for. She's definitely fuckable," the lower male voice claimed.

Alex clenched her jaw then and then lifted her chin, her thoughts, her worst nightmares playing out in her mind.

She smelled food then, something savory, and she thought of her children once more, hoping and praying that they had made it to Mrs. Ethan's safely and had relayed some sort, any sort of information, to the elderly woman to get her out of here. Out of this situation, out of this circumstance, something that would get her rescued and returned back to her family and back to the life that she wished to be a part of so badly.

* * *

Olivia pulled into the garage at 1:13 p.m. and then closed the door behind her. She placed her car in _park_ and then removed the key from the ignition, lifting her cell phone again. No calls.

She exited the car and then moved to the back seat and retrieved her bag and purse and shut the door, her mind still running.

Moving to the door that would lead her to the kitchen, the entryway, of their home, as she opened it and then closed it behind her, listening.

"Alex?" she called.

No sound.

Not one iota of noise in their townhouse as she moved to the island and listened.

She set her bag and purse on the island and stopped, removing her blazer and placing it on top of everything before listening once more.

"Al?" she asked.

Nothing.

The townhouse was quieter than she had ever heard it. Even the refrigerator was silent, the appliance normally making a humming, any sound to let them know that it was still working.

Her phone vibrated in her back pocket then and she removed it, looking at the screen.

 _Catherine Ethan._

Their neighbor two doors down. The woman who was widowed, three grown children of her own, in her late seventies. A woman they had befriended and knew to call on in emergency situations.

Olivia slid the screen and put it to her ear. "Hello? Catherine?"

"Olivia?" her meek voice questioned.

"Yes? Is everything OK?"

"Theo is here. Your twins, too. They've been with me for a little while, but I don't understand what they're saying. Can you come over?"

Olivia's heart rate began to sky rocket then. "Yeah, I'm on my way. Is everything OK?"

"Just…just come here, dear. Your children are here and I think you need to hear what they're telling me."

Olivia's heart froze then and she paused then. "Of course, Mrs. Ethan. I'm on my way."


	3. Chapter 3

3

Olivia jogged up the six steps to the brownstone three doors down and then stopped at the door. She knocked four times and then took a step back, right hand adjusting her pistol in her holster on her right hip that she had just put on, along with her badge.

She couldn't fight the feeling that something was seriously wrong, that something had happened, and that she would soon be waist deep in something significant.

Movement now on the other side of the door, a blurry advancing of whites and grays, the image of Mrs. Ethan coming further into view. The door opened and she was met with the five-foot-two woman with kind, blue eyes.

"Mrs. Ethan," Olivia breathed, trying a smile.

"Come on in, Dear. Theo and Grace and Isabel are all on the sofa in the living room." She closed the door behind her and the two began walking down the hallway. "I gave them something to eat—a couple of ham and Swiss cheese sandwiches—because they said they were hungry. But Theo didn't eat much."

"That was kind of you, Mrs. Ethan. Thank you for doing that," Olivia offered, peering over the top of her neighbor's petite frame as they walked and focusing on the upcoming living room.

The kids saw her and immediately all got up, running to her. She squatted and held them all in her arms, feeling and hearing them so happy to see her, yet more than emotional. She pulled away, Theo in the middle, and placed her hands on the girls' hips, looking at all three.

"Mommy went with a man," Isabel said first.

"What?" Olivia questioned. "What man, Baby? Who?"

The kids looked at her then, pure emotion on their faces. Theo's eyes were filled with tears.

Olivia stood and held out her hands. "Come over here and tell Mama exactly what happened." She led them to the sofa and they all got seated, Olivia perched on the edge on the end.

"Start from the beginning and tell Mama everything you can remember."

Mrs. Ethan sat in a separate recliner caddy corner to the three-sectioned sofa.

Olivia swallowed, watching all three of them. Grace moved into her, practically climbing on her lap, and buried her head against the brunette's chest.

"A man had a dog…" Theo started.

"Another man had candy and Theo wouldn't let me have any!" Isabel scowled.

"What did the man say?" Olivia asked. "Do you remember?"

Theo spoke up. "He said his doggie was friendly and I had Mommy's eyes."

Olivia smiled, trying to be patient. "What else, Theo?" She looked at the twins. "What else did he say?"

Theo's eyes filled with even more tears then. "He said his daddy died and it was Mommy's fault."

Olivia's heart rate increased then as she studied her son. "What else, Baby?"

Theo moved into her then and threw himself into her upper chest, holding her.

"What else, did he say, Theo? _Please_ …" Olivia felt her own emotions then, so desperately trying to gather any information.

"He said he was thirteen when his daddy died. That he was getting _paid back_?"

 _Payback,_ Olivia thought.

"Then Mommy said to let us go and I think she went with the men." Grace offered against her.

Olivia looked up at Mrs. Ethan then, the old woman's face concerned. "Did they tell you anything?"

Mrs. Ethan shook her head. "They wanted to dial 9-1-1, but I thought I'd call you, Dear, and see if you knew what was going on first. I know only to use that number in an emergency and you're a police officer, so I thought calling you was better."

Olivia smiled. "And I'm glad you did."

"Mommy said to come to Mrs. Ethan's and call 9-1-1 and I wanted to," Theo sobbed now, "…but she said to wait…I'm sorry I didn't call, Mama…" Theo cried against her.

Olivia watched Grace's thumb go into her mouth then and Isabel moved closer to her brother, patting his back gently.

"No, Theo. It's OK. You did good, Babies." Olivia kissed the tops of their heads, their cheeks. She looked at Mrs. Ethan then. "I need to make a call to the station and let them know what's happening." Olivia nodded.

She started to get up but was met with her children clenching her hips, willing their mother's body to remain there.

"Is Mommy OK?" Grace's voice was tiny, high-pitched before her thumb returned to her mouth.

"I wanna see Mommy!" Isabel cried. "I wanted to go with her but the man said for us to go home."

"It's OK, my loves. You're safe and we're gonna find your Mommy. Don't worry." She looked down at them, beginning to struggle even more with her children's overwhelming angst. "Hey…"

The kids pulled away then and she smiled at them.

"OK? We're gonna find her."

The kids studied her and nodded and then Olivia moved to stand. "Stay here. Mama's gonna make a phone call to Uncle Fin." She slipped her cell phone from her back pocket and moved slowly down the hallway as she found the number and hit the green phone icon.

She entered the front sitting room—the townhouse a similar layout to her own—and then stood, looking out through the front window that was facing the street.

"Liv? Everything OK?" Fin's voice was instantly concerned.

She immediately felt a flood of emotion then, not believing that this was happening. But she needed to _get_ herself together and _keep_ herself together. She sniffed and wiped below her nose.

"Hey, Fin. Uh, no…we have a problem." She felt her mouth quiver. "It's Alex. I think she's been abducted."

" _Abducted_?" Fin's voice level rose. "Whatchoo mean, Liv?"

"Um…she was in the park with the kids and they said two men were there and the men told them to leave…and Alex…" Olivia took a deep breath as she closed her eyes.

" _Slowly_ , Liv. Tell me…" Fin's voice was calm, soothing.

"…Alex is gone. Disappeared." Olivia pinched the bridge of her nose. "I think it might be …from what I can gather…a past case. Theo said the man said something about payback."

Her legs felt like jelly but this wasn't a time to fall apart. She cleared her throat and took another deep breath.

"I need a patrol car here and we're gonna take the kids back to the park to show us where it happened, see if we can find anything, any clues, and maybe they'll remember something more when we do."

"Yeah, and maybe someone saw something. A passerby. I gotcha, Liv. I'm on my way and I'll send a couple of unis. Do you need me to call anyone about the kids? Have someone come over and stay with them for afterwards?"

Olivia tried a smile, her lips shaking. "Call Casey…"

"Melinda can watch them," Fin offered.

"That'd be great. We're a couple of doors down, but we'll head to where she was…" a lump formed in the brunette's throat then and she took a short breath, gasping, "…where she was last seen."

Olivia nodded, almost trying to convince herself that this was procedural, just a case to be solved. Only what she felt was extreme trepidation in the pit of her stomach.

"Liv…I'll be there soon. Head over there. I'll call Melinda."

"Thanks, Fin," she whispered.

* * *

The TV was loud. The music was loud. Both blaring simultaneously. Booming bass from Reggaeton music and what sounded like a soccer game. Raucous laughter to her right in the near distance, the smell of food again— _garlic? Corn? Beef?_

The men were virtually shouting as they spoke, arguing about some players on the team, yelling every time something happened in the game. And there was another distinct smell, as well.

She definitely smelled marijuana, the smoke entering her own nose and lungs and that, in combination with the strike to her head, had her feeling woozy, dizzy, and slightly nauseated.

And she was thirsty. Her mouth felt dry, gritty, her tongue like sandpaper.

She continued to stare up at the ceiling, jaw clenched as she jerked her limbs once more in her restraints—what she realized now to be rough rope—teeth gritted, hoping that one of the times that she did so, she might actually get herself free.

But what if she did? What then?

There was nowhere to go. At least one of them had a weapon and she was defenseless against three men. She had no fighting skills, had never taken any self-defense classes, and she would never be able to dominate men whose mass was bigger than her, their size more muscular than her, and she knew that the idea was pointless.

She felt and heard movement then and looked at the foot of the bed where she was lying to see the young woman, arms folded, studying her. The woman moved closer then and stood to her left, Alex only watching her.

Neither of them said anything, only looked at one another.

She had a sleeve of black tattoos on her right arm, but not on her left, only a small cross on the back of her left wrist. Her eye make-up was dark and what she had initially thought was gothic, upon closer inspection now, she saw that it was just heavy, her lips a bright reddish mauve. Her gold hoop earrings glimmered slightly as she moved even closer, catching the small amount of light in the room.

"Where…" Alex cleared her throat and swallowed, "…where are we?"

The woman smiled then. "We're in Raul's mansion. The lap of luxury."

Alex studied the woman again.

"Hey, Rosa!" Raul's voice then. "Don't talk to her! Get your ass back over here!"

Rosa turned her head. "Shut up, Raul!" She looked back at Alex.

"Not a nice way to treat his girlfriend," Alex commented.

"I ain't his girlfriend. I'm Armando's girl."

"Still…" Alex looked over at the men at the small card table and watched as Raul got up and wiped his mouth.

He moved directly toward Rosa and then grabbed her hair at the back of her head and yanked it, beginning to drag her away from the area and toward the kitchen. "I said don't talk to her!" Once in the kitchen, he let her go with force, her middle back almost slamming into the kitchen counter. "And if you talk to me like that again…" he sat back down at the table and lifted what looked like a folded tortilla, "…so help me…Armando you need to keep your girl in check, bruh. No woman should be allowed to talk like that." He took a large bite and began chewing, his eyes now on Alex.

Alex looked back up at the ceiling, noting, for the hundredth time, the numerous cracks in the plaster, along with light brown water damage stains.

"And you…" Raul started.

Alex only continued to keep her focus above her.

"Hey, bitch. I'm talking to you!" Raul bellowed.

Alex turned her head then, glaring at him.

"Don't get any ideas about trying to get in good with Rosa. She might be a dog but she's a loyal dog."

"Fuck you, Raul!" Armando spouted.

A scuffle in the kitchen then, the two brothers beginning to wrestle, the card table screeching across the floor, plates being flipped, hands around necks. Then a punch was thrown—Raul to Armando—right in the eye, and then Raul's hands were around Armando's neck, beginning to choke him.

Rosa begged, pleaded, for Raul to stop, even going so far as to try to pull him off of her boyfriend, but Raul quickly shoved her away again. Then, as if nothing had happened, he let go of his brother's neck, backed away, and sat down once more, continuing to eat.

Rosa threw her hands in the air. "I can't do this!"

"Can't do what, Rosa?" Armando questioned.

Rosa grabbed her jean jacket and began putting it on. "I can't do this…this here with you…you have an innocent woman here, Raul." She grabbed her purse from the small sofa and slung it over her shoulder. "What are you gonna do with her, huh? You have her here now. What are you gonna do now?"

"What the fuck do you care, Rosa?" Raul questioned, lighting the end of a blunt and inhaling deeply.

"I don't care, Raul…" she looked at Alex, "…but it's not right. You said she has kids. You said you don't want her money. _What_ then? We'll just _starve_ her until she _dies_? Then what?" Rosa headed to the door and placed her hand on the knob and turned, opening it.

Within seconds, Raul was up, slamming the door shut and grabbing Rosa by her hair again. He dragged her as she held onto her scalp, to the small sofa next to the bed and shoved her onto it. He lifted his hand and brought it down hard on her cheek, her face jerking to the right, blood flying.

And then she was still, her head lolled to the side, resting on the back of the sofa. She was out cold.

Raul looked at Alex then and moved toward her, breathing heavily, arms slightly out, hands clenching.

"What do you want from me?" Alex questioned, feeling the tears in her eyes.

"What do I _want_ from you?" He raised his eyebrows. "I want you to suffer," His mouth twisted, the anger spread across his face. "I want you to know what it's like to not be able to be there with your family. What it feels like when you don't have that choice." He squatted down next to her then and let his eyes roam along her horizontal body before moving his gaze back to her face. "I just want you to suffer." He raised his eyebrows and smiled. "That's about it." He placed his hand on her wrist then, letting his fore and middle fingers rest on her pulse point. "Tell me, Ms. Cabot…do you know how long the human body can go without food?"

Alex swallowed hard, the dryness making this action difficult, and she continued to stare at him, unwavering.

"Three weeks," he answered, smiling. He then let the same fingers begin to lightly touch her wedding and engagement rings, delicately tracing them. "But do you know how long a human can go without _water_?" His eyes pierced into her now.

Alex clenched her left hand, not wanting him to touch the jewelry that meant so much to her. Wishing he would move further away. The scent of garlic and pot on his breath was intense, overpowering, sickening.

"Three to four days, Ms. Cabot." He began to try and straighten her fingers then.

Alex clenched her hand tighter as he used his strength to try and unfold them.

"And then your organs start shutting down, one at a time." He pried her ring finger away from her palm then.

Alex felt her rings being pulled off as Raul forcibly dragged them down her finger. She gritted her teeth and felt the tears coming on again.

"I wouldn't cry, Ms. Cabot. You're losing water. You need all you can save."

Alex looked at him then, determination on her face. "Why do you want my wedding and engagement rings? I thought you were a drug lord like your father," she spat.

Raul laughed and slipped the two pieces of white gold into his front white, T-shirt pocket. "Do I look like I'm rich to you, Alexandra? Living here in this shit hole?"

Alex let her thumb run along her now naked finger, not remembering its absence ever feeling so foreign. He had her rings now—two items in her life that were replaceable materialistically, but not sentimentally—and it killed her.

She thought of Olivia. She thought of her children. She thought of her life and everything that they had built together and she couldn't help but close her eyes and let the tears roll down her face.

* * *

The kids had led them to the _James Michael Levin Playground_ , a common spot for the ladies to take the kids. It was at 77th and 5th Avenues and not far from their home, but the kids had to cross Park Avenue, a heavily trafficked street, at a busy time of the day.

Still, they had taught them and the kids had used what they had learned and were now safe.

A team of officers, including Rollins, Carisi, and Fin had been canvassing the area, looking for clues, talking with park goers, trying to get any sort of tips they could—anything that would lead them to her wife's whereabouts. But so far, in the hour and a half that they had been there, no one had seen anything, no one had heard anything.

They stood on the sidewalk next to 5th street now, the kids having gone with Melinda a little while prior, and looked around at the traffic, the people entering the park.

"Dodds is probably gonna take you off the case," Carisi offered, looking around.

"Not gonna happen, Carisi. I'm staying on this one." Olivia took her small notepad from her back pocket.

Carisi looked up, pointing. "Street cameras might give us something if we look back at the footage." He looked back at Olivia. "What time were they here?"

"According to my phone, Alex called me at about 10:45 and we ended the call around 11." Olivia looked up at the cameras—counting four altogether—and then wrote those times on her small pad of paper, along with the locations of the cameras.

"So, figure she talked with the guys for about ten, fifteen minutes. Then we should look at the footage from 11:10 and on for any signs of her."

Olivia's eyes glazed over then and she thought of her wife being dragged into a car, against her will, possibly knocked out in order to do so, and she felt her emotions come on quickly, a lump forming in her throat.

"Hey, Liv…" Carisi put his hand on her shoulder and she jumped slightly, refocusing and looking at him, "…we'll find her…" He smiled, his blue eyes sparkling.

Olivia clenched her jaw and nodded then. "I know we will."

"Hey, Detectives!" a voice called from behind them then, about one-hundred feet from them.

Olivia and Carisi began jogging towards the voice of a rookie officer.

"We found some blood," he declared, hands on his hips, his eyes moving to the ground.

Olivia moved closer and squatted, inspecting the four drops of blood on the concrete.

"I don't know if it's something or nothing, but…" the officer began.

"We need CSU here to swab and test it," Olivia ordered before standing.

And her knees buckled then. As much as she had been trying to keep it together, to remain calm and professional in order to find her wife, she knew, mentally, she wasn't OK.

Carisi and the officer moved in quickly to catch her, holding her by the upper arms and waist.

Another officer came around the corner, holding up a baggie with, what looked like, a cell phone inside. "Found this in the bushes. Looks like someone stomped on it."

It was Alex's cell phone. She knew that Minions iPhone case anywhere. It was a gift to her from Theo just this past Christmas.

And then, without warning, her heart raced, a cold sweat broke out along her forehead and above her upper lip and a wave of nausea rolled throughout her body as the most unimaginable thoughts raced through her mind, wondering if she would ever see her wife alive again and if the kids would ever get to feel the love of their blonde mother again.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Alex turned her head to the right and looked past Armando and Pedro who were playing dominoes at the kitchen table, and peered at the digital clock on the microwave in the kitchen, squinting just right, her eyes narrowing into slits, as she tried to see the glowing, yellow digits without her specs.

 _6:47 p.m._

Her glasses had been gone, off of her face, since she first opened her eyes and she had no idea where they were. She had them in the park, but after that it was a mystery. So seeing anything past three of her own arm spans was almost impossible—blurry and fuzzy.

Raul was in the bedroom just beyond the tiny kitchen and Rosa was in there with him. And they had been in there for a couple of hours.

The cot-like metal bed—no more than two-feet by six-feet in size—had her feet just barely hanging off with where her head was positioned, her wrists held against her sides around her hip circumference and then adhered to the metal of the head railings. Her ankles were bound together and that rope was tied to the foot railing. After having been on what must have been a child's cot, or perhaps an old army surplus cot, for over seven hours, she was feeling the effects of being immobile, being unable to stretch, being unable to move, and this combination was slowly beginning to have an ill-effect on her body. And so now, along with the throbbing pain in the back of her head, she was also experiencing the creeping stabbing that was traveling upward from her lower back and toward the middle.

And now her stomach was beginning to growl. She had been hungry earlier and then that had passed and now she was having that recurring sensation once more—twisting, burning, nagging discomfort.

She hadn't been offered food. Wasn't expecting it. And she hadn't been offered water and she was beginning to think that, perhaps, Rosa's estimation of letting her starve and dehydrate to death might not be far off from what they had planned for her.

She swallowed and looked back up at the ceiling, the images of her three children standing below her in the park, their expressions so uncertain, popped into her head.

 _No._ She shut her eyes quickly.

She didn't want to think about them. Didn't want to become emotional from what they had experienced. Didn't want to allow her mind to travel to the _what if they forgot the way?_ , _what if they didn't make it to Mrs. Ethan's?_ , and the w _hat if this happened?_ , and so the minute her beautiful babies entered her mind she quickly wished them away.

A gentle knocking at the door then and Alex looked at Pedro and Armando at the table and they froze.

"Es abuelita, Raul! Armando?"

"Abuelita," Armando whispered. "Un momento!" he called.

Within seconds, the two men were standing, Armando clearing the beer bottles and tossing the pot butts in the trash.

"¡Tengo comida, mi amor! ¡Abre la puerta!" she called through the door.

Alex's heart began to jump then at the prospect of, perhaps, being seen, rescued.

"¡Apurarse! Pedro! ¡Ir!" Armando motioned in a sweeping movement with his arm into the living room.

She watched as Pedro grabbed a thick, dark brown blanket and moved toward her, his eyes focused.

"Don't say _shit_!" he ordered. "And don't fucking move!"

His weight on top of her then, cumbersome, rendering her immobile. His hips pressing into her own, knees digging into her mid-thighs, his massive belly a separate weight in and of itself, his left hand clamping over her mouth. Her breathing came out in heavy bursts now, her lungs trying to catch some air, his extra pounds and forceful, sudden motions coming out of nowhere. He was easily two-fifty to three-hundred pounds compared to her one-thirty as his crushing weight landed on top of her.

He reached down behind him and pulled the blanket up to cover both of them, lifting the pillow quickly and placing his head on the left side and covering her face with the other half, his palm still a vice on her mouth.

"Shut the _fuck_ up! he grunted.

Alex heard the door open and pleasantries were exchanged and Alex could hear kissing and hugging and happiness.

She struggled to turn her head to the left, Pedro trying to keep it facing upward, but she finally managed, his rough skin pressing firmly along her mouth, her neck muscles screaming from exertion, trying to find a modicum of air from the small lifting of the pillow that the height of her head was creating, and she inhaled through her nose.

"Where is Raul, mi amor?"

"Here I am, Abuelita!" his chipper voice beamed.

Alex heard more greetings and kissing.

"I brought you arroz con pollo y empanadas," her sweet, broken-accented voice offered.

"Thank you, Abuelita!" Raul claimed enthusiastically.

Pedro's weight was stifling, the heat from the blanket adding to her discomfort, and now she could feel another protrusion, becoming more firm, pressing against her lower belly. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard, trying to shift a little, ease the pain she was now feeling even more intensely at the back of her head and along her spine.

"Who is sleeping?" her voice asked. "Is Pedro?"

"Yeah, Abuela. That's Pedro!" Armando chirped. "Él está muy cansado. ¿Demasiada cerveza?" he questioned.

"Pedro always has too much beer. Right Pedro?" Raul called.

Alex felt his hand leave from beneath the blanket to her left, and then felt a small entry of cooler air as he must have waved to her.

"¿Do I smell drogas, tambien?" Abuelita asked.

"No, no!" Raul offered. "No drugs, Grandma!"

"Porque, si there are drogas aqui…"

A gasp from Abuelita then. "¿Qué pasó, Rosa?"

"Rosa just…" Raul's voice then, as Rosa must have just entered, "…she fell coming out of _Felipe's_ on the corner. Fell on the steps."

Silence then for a few seconds before Abuelita's voice. "¿Estás bien, Rosa? You are OK?"

"Si, Senora Morena. Estoy bien. I'm OK."

"Pues…" Abuelita began, "…I have to go a la Iglesia. How long you have been?"

"Uh, Abuelita. Por favor…" Armando tried.

"¿Este domingo? Sunday come to church?" she asked.

"Si, Abuelita," Raul agreed. "Este domingo."

Alex heard kisses again and goodbyes and then felt the overwhelming desire to move, to jerk, to try and make herself known.

After all, they wouldn't hurt their grandmother, would they?

Alex jolted her knees and arms simultaneously and heard a grunting on top of her, his hand clamping down harder on her mouth, and she fought the urge to moan from pain.

Alex heard the door close and the two brothers released a sigh of relief.

"Jesus. That was close," Raul declared. "Hey, Pedro. Get off her now! Let's go!" A couple of snaps.

Alex continued to lay there, the massive heaviness on top of her not budging. Then, the air again, the blanket being lifted up and off. Then a hand on her left breast, a shifting of weight to her right side, the pillow coming off of her face, his left hand being removed from her mouth. She gasped and opened her eyes, blinking several times.

And she looked up at him. He was so close she could see the blackhead-filled pores on his nose, the dark black follicles of a five-o' clock shadow, his two, sweaty chins just inches from her.

He squeezed her flesh through her sweatshirt in his hand and smiled, pressing his erection into her right, upper thigh then before letting his hand move to her right breast and doing the same thing.

She clenched her jaw and stared, unwaveringly, at him. "Don't _touch_ me," she hissed calmly.

He only smiled at her and then moved his mouth closer, his lips almost touching her own, before Raul yelled.

"Get the fuck off, Pedro!"

Pedro turned his face toward the kitchen as a drop of sweat rolled down and off of his chin and fell onto her neck. "Well, she's not yours either, Raul. Someone has to have her." He looked at her again. "Can't let this go to waste." He smiled back down at her. "I'll bet you would feel _real_ good…"

Then, thudding footsteps, Pedro's body lifting off of her, a coolness floating over the expanse of her front half, and she gasped again as she let the air enter her lungs fully once more.

The front door opened and Alex looked in that direction.

"Go cool off, Pedro!" Raul advised. "I told you, that's not what we're here for." Raul looked at his friend's crotch and then back into his face. "Go. Get out of here. Go get some more beer!"

"And I'm getting some condoms, too. Because if you're not gonna do her, I am!"

Raul looked at her then. "Nah. Knowing how these rich white bitches are, she might enjoy it too much. Especially from a fat fuck like you."

Pedro smirked and then hiked up the waistband of his jeans before he headed out the door and Raul slammed it behind him.

Alex swallowed hard again and watched Raul and Armando begin to remove containers from a brown paper bag on the kitchen table.

She turned her head back, eyes going to the ceiling again and, even though she didn't want it, her family's faces flashed into her mind once more, all of them—her wife smiling that amazingly gorgeous smile, her twins' toothless, cheerful grins, Theo's sweet face and eyes that were filled with such love—and she closed her eyes and cried, letting her fear, her despair, and her hopelessness spill out of her once more.

* * *

Olivia leaned forward and narrowed her eyes at the screen as she looked over the shoulder of Ruben Morales, the TARU tech.

Olivia swallowed as she watched Alex, being held up by each underarm, being carried, feet dragging, and then being literally thrown into the very back of a silver, Toyota 4runner. "Freeze it right there."

Olivia, Fin, and Morales studied the frozen image on the screen.

"And there had to have been a third person—the driver," Olivia said softly, nodding, her eyes remaining fixed on the frozen image of the rear of the car, back door raised, but the license plate still visible. "Blow that up and print it. We need to get an APB out for that SUV."

"I'll get that out right away," Morales offered, lifting his desk phone and beginning to speak.

Olivia stood erect and placed her hands into her front pockets and shook her head as she and Fin just looked at each other. The brunette looked back at the screen, squinting, just as Morales hung up the phone.

"All done," he claimed.

Olivia pointed to the screen. "OK. Press play…"

The three watched as the two men then quickly hopped in the back with her, slammed the back door, and then drove off—not too quickly, not too slowly—and out of sight.

"They turned onto 77th Street before they disappeared," Fin offered.

"Let's get on that and…have you heard back about the blood?" Olivia and Fin turned to leave. The brunette detective turned back slightly and raised her hand to Morales. "Thanks, Morales. I owe you one."

They continued walking down the hallway of the first floor and toward the doors.

"Nothing on the blood, yet...hey, Liv…" Fin began.

"What?" Olivia answered, distracted.

He pushed the door open for her and they kept walking, their navy Caprice parallel parked right in front of them.

The clicking of the doors unlocking was heard and Olivia pulled up on the handle, opened it, and slipped inside. She closed the door and tugged at her seat belt before she locked it and then put her sunglasses on, Fin doing the same next to her.

"Liv…" Fin started again.

Olivia laughed and looked at her partner, almost incredulously. " _What_ , Fin?"

"I just want you to know something. Two things..." He smiled that warm, charming smile.

Olivia softened and managed a smile back. She took a deep breath and relaxed slightly.

"One…we're gonna find her. I can feel it."

Olivia swallowed, focusing on her partner's eyes. "And two?"

"Two…you're not gonna like who's gonna talk to you when we get back to the 1-6. I have nothing to do with it, but I want you to be prepared."

Olivia furrowed her brow and turned to look through the front window. She shook her head. "No, Fin." She continued shaking her head as she moved her gaze to the right, through the passenger window. "I have to stay on this one. I have to be a part of it." She felt her eyes fill with tears then. "I have to do everything I can to be involved in this and find her…" Olivia gasped then, "…as soon as possible…"

A hand on her forearm then. "I get it, Baby Girl…but those kids of yours? They need you, too. But they gotta have _one_ solid at home with them."

Olivia felt her lower lip tremble then, her brow knitted in conflict as she looked back at her mocha detective friend.

"And we have three completely capable cops working on this around the clock, Liv. Including Dodds. And as much of an asshole as he is…"

Olivia wiped below her nose with the back of her hand and sniffed.

"…we know he's the best, too."

Olivia closed her eyes and leaned her head back.

"Right?"

Olivia nodded and then opened her eyes again, looking at Fin. "You're right, Fin. But you gotta let me know _everything_ you find. _Anything_ that comes in. And tell Dodds I'll be back tomorrow morning. No questions asked."

Fin crossed his heart with his left forefinger. "You have my word, Liv. Always for you."

Olivia felt her tears come on again. "Thanks, Fin…"

His hand went to the back of her neck then, squeezing gently. "You got it…"

The brunette unhooked her belt and then leaned over. They hugged and Olivia could feel the comfort of her long-time partner and knew that he only wanted what was best for she and Alex and their children.

That was something about Fin that never faltered.

* * *

"Car was found, abandoned, in East Harlem. They canvassed the area within a mile—knocking on doors, checking apartments and houses—and found nothing. No sign. So they must have gotten another car somehow to make a transfer or had someone else pick them up."

"Or dropped Alex off first...any cameras where the car was dropped? Anyone see anything?" Olivia questioned, putting her chin on top of her fisted hand on the kitchen table as she watched Theo work on a drawing of the ocean on her right and the twins working on their own crayon pictures on her left—Grace drawing a cat and Isabel drawing a vase of flowers.

Melinda had picked them up at the park and she had watched them for the rest of the afternoon, the three being off for a student holiday, hence Alex being with them at the park that morning.

"Nah, Liv. Not one _real_ camera there. Landlords are too cheap to have real ones. No one who saw the car or anyone who saw two Hispanic guys and a tall blonde woman. Tight-lipped. Could have been threatened, though."

"OK, Fin. Oh, and did you tell Dodds I'd be there tomorrow?" Olivia looked down at her ensemble of a loose, white t-shirt and gray jogging pants, her feet bare, before she reached for her glass of ice water then and took a sip.

"I told him and he just gave me that look. That, ' _I'm gonna talk to her'_ look."

Olivia set her glass down, nodding. "Well, I don't care what he says, Fin, I'm coming in tomorrow."

"But, Liv, you're usually home on Saturdays, with the kids, as a family."

Olivia's eyes glazed over as she watched Isabel, their little blue-eyed girl resembling her wife so much.

"Liv?"

"Without Alex here, I just…" She didn't know what she wanted to say after that and so she didn't finish her sentence.

"I know, Liv."

"Call me with anything else?" Olivia raised her eyebrows.

"Sure thing. Talk to you later."

"Later, Fin." Olivia ended the call and placed her iPhone face up on the kitchen table.

She watched her children, all busy, now beginning to talk about a TV show and something funny that happened on it today.

She smiled as she thought of her wife, the looks they would have been exchanging at a time like this as the children spoke so randomly, the smirk on her face and she felt her mouth begin to quaver with the thought.

Theo looked up at her then and set his blue crayon down and hopped off of his kitchen chair and moved around and toward her. He leaned against her right side and wrapped his arms around her and the brunette began to release, finally letting out the emotions she had been holding inside.

The twins joined their brother in the group hug and they held each other tightly.

The kids didn't know the details, but they could definitely sense something. From their brunette mother's demeanor and the conversations she had already had with her partner, they knew that Alex was not there and they knew Olivia was upset. And that was all they needed to know at present.

"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" Theo questioned against her.

"Wh…?" Olivia began before stopping herself. She began to stroke their hair, their backs, kissing their hair with love and gentleness. "You can all stay in our bed tonight, OK?"

Theo pulled away, eyebrows raised. "Really?"

Olivia smiled and then brought her lips inward, nodding, feeling her eyes fill with more tears.

They hugged her again, holding on tightly. She knew she needed them there with her that night, feeling their warmth. And she also knew they needed it too—especially her comfort and security.

They all needed anything to help them get through this one minute at a time, one hour at a time. Until they found her wife alive, well, and safely at home once more.


	5. Chapter 5

5

Olivia jolted and squeezed the vibrating and dinging device in her right palm, her eyes still closed. She opened them slowly, blinking a few times, and then looked down at the weight on top of her, the sheets completely off of her body. Theo was off to her right side, near the edge, on his back, mouth open, arms out, knees bent, feet together, and Grace was on her right side, huddled into her, little right leg hiked over her brunette mother's right thigh, while Isabel had somehow turned all the way upside down, her head resting on Olivia's ankles, on her left.

The brunette looked down at her white camisole and gray leggings as she yawned again, not realizing that her mind felt groggy, exhausted, and she knew she hadn't slept well. But at least she had slept.

Olivia smiled at her children, all breathing heavily, all in such a deep, contented sleep.

She yawned as she lifted her cell phone and looked at the screen, pressing the home button and seeing that she had a new text message from Fin saying _GM_. It was only 7:02 a.m. and she knew that if he was contacting her this early, they might have something.

She typed in a return message, simply saying _GM. Anything?_ and then switched her phone to her left hand and set it on the empty space to the left of her head.

She ran her fingers through her hair as she looked back to her right and watched as Theo opened his eyes and stretched, eyes scrunched as he let out a high-pitched squeak and Olivia smiled again as his blue eyes looked at her, smiling,

"Hey, Baby. Good morning," Olivia said softly as she reached her hand out.

Theo moved closer before moving up near the brunette's upper chest and cuddling into her shoulder as best as he could, trying to take up any space that Grace wasn't occupying. She wrapped her arm around him and kissed his forehead.

"How are you, my boy?" Olivia began to stroke his hair.

Theo nodded against her and she could hear him beginning to breathe deeply once more, his warm breath on her upper bicep, realizing he was falling back to sleep. Her cell phone pinged and vibrated again and she reached over and lifted it, maneuvering it with one hand to read it.

 _Nothing yet. I'll keep you posted._

Olivia placed the phone on her mid belly and looked up at the ceiling, the fan on low. She wanted to get up. She wanted to be ready to go in to work. She needed to tell Jonathan and Casey something.

She needed to tell Cathy and Bill Cabot something. Eventually.

Olivia thought about having to share the current situation with Alex's family. She knew that Jonathan would be upset and Casey, as well. But they would be level-headed about it. Rational. Hopeful.

But the elder Cabots, on the other hand—especially Cathy—would be more than hysterical. When it came to overreacting, Mrs. Cabot was one of the best, and having to share the news that her only daughter was missing wasn't something she was looking forward to.

She lifted her upper body, Theo stirring and sitting up slightly before she encouraged him to lay back down.

"Go back to sleep, sweet boy," she whispered before leaning over and kissing his cheek. She easily lifted Grace from her body and their little girl returned to slumber, as well. Olivia climbed over Isabel and then stood, moving to grab her robe from the foot bench and placing it on and tying it.

She folded her arms and watched their children again, so peaceful, and she felt her eyes begin to water, hoping and praying that today would be the day that her wife came back home and all would be normal once more.

* * *

Alex's eyes fluttered against the golden glow of sunlight on her left, peeking in through the mini-blinds. Her eyelids flickered briefly before closing again.

 _Theo was crying. Harder than she had ever witnessed. His face was bright red, a vein in his forehead bulging, tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn't say anything, just wailed a high-pitched, inconsolable cry as he looked at her._

 _His image began moving away then, in slow motion, and she saw that he was reaching out to her. She held her hands out to try and take his, but suddenly noticed that she had knives for hands, instead, and she pulled them back immediately._

 _Then, coming into view as her son's image continued to sail backward, her girls, their faces showing the same distress—terror and pain and upset like she had never seen in either of them. A warm, prickly heat ran along her body and filled her with dread as she felt her mentality break down and she began to sob._

She gasped and her eyes popped open as she felt a warmth below her now, seeping along her backside and she felt her face contort with humiliation and she cried once more—for Liv, whom she knew was going crazy trying to find her, for her children who were too young to comprehend any of this, and for the possibility that she wouldn't make it out of this apartment alive.

* * *

"Is Mommy coming back soon?" Isabel questioned, spooning toasted oat cereal and sliced bananas into her mouth.

Olivia cradled her hands around her blue mug of steaming coffee as she looked at Isabel, then Theo, then Grace, and then back at Isabel. "She's coming home, my love. Soon."

"Did those men we met take her? Where did they go?" Theo asked, picking up a slice of banana from his bowl and taking a bite.

"I don't know, Theo," Olivia whispered, feeling her eyes fill with tears. "That's what Uncle Fin and Mama's squad are trying to figure out." Olivia took a sip of coffee.

"Mommy was scared, Mama," Grace added. "And I was scared, too. Her hand was all wet and it was shaking." Grace lifted her spoon, scooting a piece of banana onto it with her left forefinger.

"I know you were, Baby. I know you all were." Olivia felt a lump in her throat as she thought of Alex.

Her wife must have been overcome with fear, knowing that their kids might be in danger, and the things the two men said to her must have had her believing the worst.

And now, she had to tell the kids that she had to go back in to work and she knew they wouldn't be happy.

"Uh...guys…" She cleared her throat.

They all looked at her, chewing, milk dripping.

"Mama has to go into work for a little while today."

Immediately, whining, complaining, high-pitched disagreement was heard amongst the three of them.

" _Why_ , Mama?" Grace's brow was furrowed.

"Yeah, Mama. Stay home today…" Isabel offered.

Theo only looked at her, tears filling his eyes.

Olivia immediately became emotional. His face said it all, and it killed her.

"I have to go in, babies, because I have to help them so we can bring your Mommy home."

"So they _did_ take her?" Theo said softly, a tear rolling down his cheek.

Olivia nodded quickly, grabbing a paper napkin from her right and bringing it to her nose.

She took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling before letting it out.

"Those were very bad men. I _knew_ it!" Isabel scowled.

"And they have Mommy?" Grace's soft voice questioned. "Why?"

And Olivia didn't know what to say. _Why did they have her?_ In a child's mind, that was a good question. In an adult's mind, the possibilities of the answers were endless.

Olivia only whispered, "I don't know, Baby." She then drew her lips inward and watched Theo stand slowly, his eyes on her as he walked up to her. He placed both hands on the brunette's forearm gently.

"Mama has to go fight the bad guys. Right, Mama?" He smiled.

Olivia swallowed, her eyes filling with even more tears. "That's right, Theo. That's what Mama does."

"So we have to let her, and she's gonna bring Mommy back…" Theo rested his cheek on Olivia's shoulder then, "…and then we'll have both our mommies." He looked up at her. "Right?"

Olivia felt her brow knit with emotion, her mouth twist. "Yes, Baby. I'm gonna bring Mommy back." She kissed his forehead gently, her mouth quavering.

And then the girls were next to her, giving her love, too.

And she closed her eyes and asked, once again, for help on this case, and to have her wife back in the house, back in her arms, and back in their lives once more.

* * *

"The bitch peed the bed!" Armando yelled from where he was standing to her left.

Heavy footsteps, Raul approaching. He leaned over and sniffed and then stood erect, beginning to laugh. He shook his head then. "Disgusting, bitch."

Alex felt the lump form in her throat, her tears beginning. The last thing she was going to do was show weakness and asking to use the restroom was one of them. And so she knew, eventually, this would happen. The nightmare she had just awoken from was what had most likely triggered it. She was almost certain that what she just expelled was probably the last of the liquid inside of her body, though. Almost positive she wouldn't have to go again before this whole thing was over—either rescued or taken out rolled in a rug and then thrown in the woods somewhere. Over the past hours she had been there, these were just two of the numerous scenarios that ran through her head constantly.

"Do we clean it?" Armando questioned.

Raul smiled. "Nah, she did it. She can sit in her own piss. I don't give a shit." He waved his hand as he walked away.

Armando headed to the door. "I'm out. Later."

"Later," Raul replied.

The shorter brother opened the door, exited, and closed it behind him.

Alex clenched her jaw as she looked back up at the ceiling, willing herself not to bawl. But at this point she felt hopeless, pathetic, and lost. There was someone constantly around and there was never any chance to try and be alone and work something out and, at this point, her entire backside had become numb. She had never been this still for this long before and she felt the atrophy. But now it was her entire back and neck that had become excruciating to the blonde.

Already having been subjected to hereditary back issues and having experienced spasms and cramps at various points in her life largely due to stress, she knew what minor pain felt like now because this pain was not minor in the least.

And at this point, it was worse than labor.

And once one of those spasms would get a hold, she could actually feel it mini-vibrate as the pain ran along her muscle.

And that was when she would sob.

And remember.

And think about death.

And think about her wife and kids.

Alex clenched her eyes closed tightly then and moaned, jerking her body in her restraints as a shooting pain ran across her shoulder blades, taking the breath out of her.

It finally subsided and she gasped and opened her eyes, panting heavily from the intense sensation.

Then, Raul was standing there again, above her, bottle of water in hand. Alex eyed the bottle and then looked back at him.

He held it up. "You want this?"

Alex looked back up, steeling her jaw. "No. I don't."

"You _don't_?" He knelt down then, his face to her left.

"Why the hell should I say _yes_? I say yes, and then you don't give me any." She looked at him now. "Isn't that your plan?"

He smiled. "Damn! Lawyers are so smart!" He stood again. "Well, I'm gonna give you some, whether you like it or not…" He unscrewed the cap and held it over her mouth, about two feet above her, still smiling. "Ready?"

She only looked at him.

He tilted the bottle and then moved his hand about to inches upward, beginning to let it trickle out.

The water entered her nose, a little in her mouth, most of it on her eyes and forehead as Alex began to cough and sputter, the whole action a torture tactic strictly for his pleasure.

He crushed the empty bottle with his right hand then and tossed it aside before coming close. "I told you, Ms. Cabot. I want you to _suffer_ …" he hissed, the dark anger on his face terrifying.

Rosa came into the room then from the bedroom.

"Watch her, huh? I'm going to run an errand." Raul grabbed his keys and cell phone off of the kitchen table before looking at Rosa. He smiled at her and walked up to her and wrapped his left arm around her before reaching down to her crotch with his right hand and squeezing hard, lifting upward.

Rosa gasped, her face full of fear, her chin raising in defiance.

"Maybe we'll do it in front of her next time."

Rosa's eyes began to water. " _Please_ , Raul. You said you wouldn't—"

"Yeah, I know what I said. But damn, Baby…" he looked her breasts over then, "…my brother is right. You're a good lay."

Rosa's lower lip trembled then. "I'll tell him…I'll tell him what you did to me."

Raul grabbed her chin then, squeezing, Rosa crying harder. "Will you?" He squeezed harder and shook her face. "Then you can count yourself good and dead if you do, Rosa. A few good screws isn't worth your life, is it?"

"But I didn't…"

"You didn't _want_ it?" he sneered. "Dressing like you do?" He smiled. "Looking at me like you do?"

"I never—"

"Shut up!" he shook her head violently again. "As long as you're my brother's girl, your _mine_ , too. Whether you like it or not. Comprende?"

Rosa nodded quickly, tears streaming down her face then.

He let her go and smirked as he walked to the door and opened it. "Watch her." He pointed at Alex. "Don't let anything go wrong." He raised his eyebrows, turned and headed out the door.

Rosa released a breath then, beginning to cry harder, her face in her hands. Alex only watched as she moved into the kitchen and put her back to her, continuing to cry.

Alex cleared her throat and blinked away some of the water from her eyes. "Rosa?"

No answer.

Alex waited a few more seconds, still watching her, and then Rosa finally turned around and folded her arms.

"My wife is a detective with Special Victim's Unit, Rosa. She can help you. She can help you find a way out." Alex knew to tread lightly. In all of her experience and Olivia's experience, she knew that one wrong word could cause a situation to go either way.

Rosa walked closer, slowly, her expression morose, yet hesitant.

"She helps women all the time. And I've also represented women for so many years that have gone through what you're going through. My wife works with the NYPD and she has put countless rapists and abusers away…for life…"

Rosa sniffed and took two more steps closer, her eyes still on Alex.

"She can help you…" Alex offered.

Rosa smiled then. "And I'll call her and you'll be rescued? And I'll go to jail and so will Armando and Raul and Pedro?"

"You haven't done anything wrong, Rosa. You're a victim, too." Alex tried to remain calm but saw Rosa's demeanor begin to change. "But that's up to you…"

Rosa's nostrils flared then and she spat, "Damn right it's up to me. I hate it when rich white people try and help the minorities. Makes me sick! You have had it so easy all your life and then you wanna help people to make yourself feel better?" She raised her eyebrows.

This hadn't gone the way Alex had hoped. At all. She only wanted to try and connect with the young woman on a different level now that the men were gone. But it seemed she wouldn't be biting, at all.

She felt her eyes fill with tears again and she felt the frustration rise inside of her and she jerked her body once more, the sound of the metal-frame clanging from her movement. She felt her face contort then and her lips tremble as she stared back up.

"Please," she whispered, looking back at Rosa. "Please don't let me dehydrate to death…" Her voice was shaky, almost unrecognizable. "I can't die like that…" she begged.

Rosa's expression stilled, almost as if this might have affected her. Then she lifted her hand, bracelet bangles clinging, and brought it down with force, and Alex's vision became dark once more.

* * *

Olivia pressed her face to the softness and inhaled her wife's pillows, closing her eyes and smelling her shampoo, her perfume, her scent, feeling the love enter her as she did so. She placed them back on Alex's side against the headboard and fluffed them before spotting black and white squares out of the corner of her eye on the blonde's night stand.

She turned fully now and saw, beneath the lamp, half of it sticking out, a mostly completed _New York Times Crossword_ puzzle, a pencil lying on top. She carefully lifted the base of the lamp and pulled it out, looking at it, her fingers trembling as she held it. There was Alex's brushy handwriting. Even on a crossword puzzle it was elaborate, feminine, and determined.

She brought the paper to her nose and inhaled, only smelling the ink from the newspaper, tears filling her eyes. Pulling it away, she looked at the only clue that hadn't been solved: _Number 49 down: To save someone. Six letters._

Olivia felt her mouth twist then and she whispered, "Rescue."

And she had a sudden boost, a sudden renewing of hope, in that one sign, in that one clue. She fluffed the pillows on her own side, moved to the door and turned the light off, and headed down the hallway to make sure the kids were getting ready for the day.

* * *

"How _long_ , Olivia?" Jonathan's voice was calm, yet frantic.

She knew she needed to call Alex's brother to let him know what was going on, and she also needed someone to watch the kids. She hadn't been looking forward to telling any of the Cabots, but it was now time to let, at least, Jonathan know.

"Uh…" Olivia took a deep breath then, "…since yesterday, around eleven…" She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, leaning forward with her elbows on the kitchen table.

She had already changed for the day into a pair of black jeans, a black silk blouse, and a gray blazer, and the kids were all on the sofa watching _Tom and Jerry_ as she made some last minute arrangements at the kitchen table.

"Since _eleven_?" His voice level rose. " _Yesterday_ morning?"

She had never heard him raise his tone before, but this was his sister they were talking about.

"Sorry," he offered. "Since eleven, so…about twenty-one and a half hours? How…what happened?"

"A previous case from thirteen years ago. Do you remember the name Zapata?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do, Olivia. I remember it really well, actually. Allie talked about it a lot."

"That's the one. We think it's a revenge abduction." Olivia placed her right hand on the back of her neck, trying to rub the tension away.

"I can't believe my sister is missing…" His voice shook.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah…so I need to go in to work and she's…she's not here…" Olivia felt that same intrusion in her throat again, causing the unsteadiness in her voice, her words to not come out right, "…so I need…"

"I'll be over to watch the kids. Give me ten minutes. I have to work at one, but Casey can watch them after that."

Olivia nodded again. "Thanks, Jonathan," she whispered.

"You got it. And Olivia…"

"Yeah, Jonathan?"

"Find my sister." A few seconds passed and he took a deep shaky breath. " _Please_ …"

"We'll find her, Jonathan. We have to." Olivia's lower lip trembled as she ended the call.

And just as she set her phone down on the table, it rang again, she turned it and saw Fin's name.

She answered. "I'll be on my way as soon as Jonath—"

"We got the blood sample back, Liv…"

Olivia froze, her eyes focused on the shiny, green apples in the wire bowl in the center of the table.

"It's Alex's, Liv…"


	6. Chapter 6

6

Olivia took a deep, slow breath and let her thumb hover over the green phone icon, closing her eyes. She was sitting in her Datsun and had overcome the initial shock of the blood match, had handed the kids over to Jonathan, and was now sitting here, in the parking lot, knowing what she needed to do.

It had to come from her. After all, she was Alex's wife and heavily involved in the case. But, even after being a detective and having to inform family members and loved ones when people had gone missing, been abducted, was normally routine protocol, the fact that Alex was her wife, her soulmate, the love of her life, made it a million times worse. Besides, they needed to know. If Olivia waited any longer, things would become difficult to explain in the worst case scenario and tempers would flare from the brunette withholding information about something so close to all of them.

She tapped the screen and then took another deep breath as she placed it against her ear, waiting. Three rings and then the line picked up.

And Olivia instantly lost it upon hearing her mother-in-law's voice, so chipper, so familiar.

"Hello? Olivia? Is that you?"

Olivia's lower lip trembled then and then she attempted another breath, feeling her eyes fill with tears. "Hi, Cathy…"

"Olivia…what is it? Is it one of the children? Is it…" a tiny gasp, "…is my Alex OK?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, Cathy…she's…um…she's missing."

"Missing? What do you mean, Dear?"

"She was in the park with the kids yesterday morning and then she was… _abducted._ " Olivia waited.

And there a was a silence then, a small whimpering, muffled, as though Cathy was covering the mouthpiece with her hand.

"She's been _taken_?" Cathy Cabot cried. "By _whom_?"

A case we had thirteen years ago. We think a family member, or the son, is seeking revenge."

More whimpering now, this time audible. Cathy gasped. "And the children? They were there? Are they OK?"

"The kids are all fine. A little shaken up and confused and upset, but they weren't harmed. They went to a neighbor's house like they knew to do."

Another silence, sniffing. "I'm glad they're OK," Cathy whimpered. "But my Alex…was she hurt?"

Olivia closed her eyes, not wanting to explain too much and upset the elder Cabot. After all, they didn't have much as of yet. "They did find her blood on the concrete in the park, so it's possible she was struck and coerced. There's…uh…there's also footage from one of the cameras and she's seen being put in a car…"

"Well, then you can find her, Olivia." Cathy's voice was hopeful, matter-of-fact. "Right?"

"It was a dead end. Car was abandoned, no fingerprints, no blood, no cameras. Someone covered their tracks and wiped everything down or they used gloves."

Olivia shut her eyes tightly, holding her forehead in her hand.

For a moment, she forgot who she was talking to, reminding herself that this was a civilian, the mother of her wife who was missing, not another detective. She realized she needed to back off of the details with Alex's mother.

"I'm coming there, Dear. Right away. I'm coming to be with you…with the kids…with _her_ …" Cathy whimpered.

And Olivia felt her tears once more, the obstruction in her throat, the sickness in the pit of her stomach. "Cathy…I'm gonna ask that you stay in Southampton. Jonathan is at our house now and Casey is coming over later on when he has to go to work. I promised them I'd be home tonight, so…" Olivia shook her head.

The silence through the phone was revealing, but Olivia didn't want Cathy Cabot to come out to the city just yet. She wanted to wait a little while longer and if she saw the need, she would let her know.

"I know that you know what's best to do, Olivia. You're a wonderful detective and if you want me to stay here and you think it's what's best…that's what I'll do."

Olivia half-smiled. "Thanks, Cathy. It's just too soon to start really…" She didn't know what she wanted to say, but knew she wanted to remain hopeful and for Alex's parents to remain optimistic, as well.

"Let me know if you hear anything, Olivia?"

Olivia smiled then. "Of course, Cathy. You and Jonathan will be the first to know. OK?" Olivia raised her eyebrows. "And by tomorrow…if we haven't…" Olivia cleared her throat, "…if we haven't found her, I would like you to come here…be with the kids…with Jonathan…"

"OK, Dear. Please let me know…I'll be praying for you…all of you to get through this and return my beautiful daughter safely." She began crying then. "Goodbye…"

"OK, Cathy…" But the call was already ended and Olivia pulled the screen away from her face and looked at the disconnected call.

She tilted her neck to the left and to the right, letting out a few pops and then took another deep breath, noticing Fin's charcoal gray, Chrysler 300 Sedan off to the side. She also saw Carisi's white, late model Toyota Camry, and Rollins' small, red, Toyota truck. And with all of her people here, the squad all assembled, it was time to get to work and find her wife and bring her home.

She yanked on the handle of her car, grabbed her purse from the passenger seat, got out and closed it, and then headed inside, ready to solve a case that was the most important one she had experienced in her life.

* * *

Alex closed her eyes to rest them after having stared at the ceiling once more for a little while. From the same microwave clock, she knew it was a little past ten and she also knew that she had been here almost twenty-four hours. Aside from the being rolled like a burrito and being tossed somewhere in upstate New York, her mind had also concocted a few more scenarios of her demise while she lay awake after Raul had left and Rosa had made herself comfortable at the kitchen table, texting on her phone and continuing to glare at her.

Some other outcomes she had imagined: washing up in the East River after being tossed in there with an anvil attached to her ankle, or she might be buried inside a wall of this very apartment—something SVU had already had experience with—and the favorite one she had come up with so far was being chopped up in a million pieces and being made into a tasty pozole, her bones being given to the dog, Frankie, that she now realized she had yet to see again.

Alex felt the bottom hem of her navy sweat shirt being lifted and she opened her eyes to find Pedro there. She eyed him and clenched her jaw before she then jerked violently in her ropes. "Don't touch me!" she gritted.

He only smiled, sat next to her, and shook his head before slowly letting his forefinger begin tracing a line along her belly, eyes on her as he did so.

She let a rough breath out of her nose and looked up to the ceiling.

"Come on, lady…a little _something_? A smile? Something to get me in the mood?"

Alex looked at him then. "Are you _fucking_ serious?"

"Yeah…I'm serious," he oozed, now letting his right hand cup her inner thigh and beginning to travel upward. "I bought the condoms, Baby…" He took a long strip from his pocket and waved them in the air.

Alex's body went violent then and she struggled, letting every ounce of energy she had inside of her jump, pull, push and she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Help!" Her neck strained as she yelled, "Help! Someone help me!"

Pedro's large, rough hand clamped over her mouth then, squeezing. He shook her face as he clenched it. "Shut _up_!"

"What's happening in here?" Raul questioned.

Panting, her eyes filled with tears, Alex pursed her lips together and looked at Raul who was entering the room in a hurry, zipping his jeans up.

"Why is the bitch screaming?" He adjusted himself and then buttoned the top of his jeans and then began to fasten his belt. "I told you to make sure she doesn't make noise." He looked at the two of them, then at the condom packages on the bed, and then back at Pedro. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I-I told you, bruh…I was gonna get condoms and then do this bitch…" he stuttered.

"What do you want? Fucking candles, too? Set the fucking mood?" Raul came toward Pedro then and pulled him up, the larger man's hands going up.

"I wasn't gonna do it, Raul. I swear. I was just gonna…" Pedro was sweating now, his face filled with fear.

Raul shoved Pedro onto the sofa, the entire piece of furniture moving a good foot from the force, and then Raul pulled a gun out—the same gun from the park—and pointed it at Pedro.

"I told you that this bitch is gonna stay there, like she is, for as long as I feel like it." Raul moved in close to Pedro, leaning over him and grabbing his neck with his left hand, gun pressed to his forehead. "Are. We. _Clear_?"

Pedro nodded quickly, beginning to cry, and Raul let go of him, pushing him backward slightly and returning his gun to the back waistband of his jeans.

"Good. Because if I have to pull you off of her one more time…" Raul threatened, pointing, "…Dios ayúdame."

Alex swallowed then, feeling her own brow now covered in sweat and she closed her eyes, feeling her body begin to wrack with sobs, every second that passed, every minute in that cramped apartment, feeling like pure hell.

And it took everything inside of her to give her mind the strength and fortitude to make herself believe that this wasn't the way it was going to end for her. She closed her eyes and began to ask for help, beg for mercy, and to receive the physical resilience to lead her out of this situation and back into the arms and the world of the people who loved her.

* * *

Olivia looked at the headline of the newspaper that Fin had just dropped onto her desk:

 _Missing ADA, Wife of NYPD Detective_

Olivia scanned the beautiful photo of her wife before she let her eyes read the first words:

 _NYPD detectives scoured the James Michael Levin Playground in search of clues in the disappearance of Assistant District Attorney Alexandra…_

Olivia took her glasses off and stared at her partner incredulously. "How did they get any information about this? We've been tight-lipped the whole time."

"You know how it happens, Liv," Fin started. "Someone sees us there, next thing you know it's a story."

Olivia shook her head, lifting the top corners of the front page again. "It…shouldn't have gotten out." She narrowed her eyes, mouth opened. "How did they even know…" She shook her head, "…never mind." She let go of the paper and took a deep breath and released it, rubbing her face with both hands, elbows on her desk.

It was eleven o'clock and Olivia was getting more than frustrated. There were over three-thousand people with the last name Zapata, five-hundred sixty in the Bronx borough alone. Narrowing their search through records, they couldn't match any babies born thirteen years ago to Raphael Zapata and had to assume that the baby took his mother's name.

"Liv. You OK?" Fin was closer now.

She smiled and rubbed her forehead before looking up at him. "No."

"I know, Liv. I can't imagine what you're going through. That girl…she's your life, your other half…"

"She's my whole, Fin…" Olivia began playing with her steepled fingers then, pads running along pads, her eyes glazing over. "I keep imagining the worse possible thing…what I went through with Lewis and…" Olivia swallowed then, feeling her eyes begin to well with tears, "…I just lose it…" she whispered.

"Something will turn up soon, Liv. Something has to."

Olivia sniffed and took a deep breath then, just as a couple of knocks were heard and her office door swung open. It was Dodds.

"You got anything?" Olivia raised her eyebrows.

"I'm…" he started, before looking at Fin. "Can I have a moment to talk to Detective Benson?"

"It's Benson-Cabot and has been for—" she corrected automatically before stopping herself.

Fin held his hands up and then coolly walked out of the office, closing the door behind him as he eyed her through the glass, that charming smirk on his face.

Dodds waited until Fin was gone and had walked out of sight before continuing. He put his hands in his pockets and looked at her, studying her.

"Did they find anything else in the park? Anything we missed? Anyone call with any tips?" Olivia placed her glasses back on and lifted the lid of her lap top.

After a few moments of him not saying anything, she took her glasses off and looked up once more.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to be on this one."

"I already heard it from Fin. I'm fine."

Olivia stood then, taking her phone from her back pocket and checking for anything—messages from Jonathan, her kids, Alex? Nothing.

"You're too close to this case, Detective Benson…"

"Jesus!" she hissed. "Benson- _Cabot_. Why is it so hard?" She looked at Dodds and saw the steeliness, the domination that always seemed to be there, and she stared him down before stating calmly. "Please call me Benson-Cabot. That's all I ask…" Olivia felt her eyes fill with tears then, once more, not able to keep her mind from her wife when she said their name aloud. She swallowed and willed more away but they came nonetheless.

"You're not OK and you need to be clear-headed for this. You can't intertwine emotions and screw something up."

Olivia ground her teeth as she continued to look at him.

"And I have to ask you a question," he began, looking back and forth between her eyes, his face close.

"Ask." Her voice was low, raspy, controlled.

"It's procedure in disappearances. And you know it. So...I don't want you to get—"

"Mad?" she smiled. "Chief, nothing about this case is procedural. I realized that twenty-four hours ago. But…" she sneered, narrowing her eyes, "…go ahead and ask. I can't guarantee I won't… _react_ , though…"

He continued to watch her, the same cool, chauvinistic expression on his face he always had. "Were you and your wife having any…problems? Did you have a fight? Anything to cause her to maybe need to take a few days to regroup and collect herself?"

Olivia's top and bottom layers of her teeth became one and she felt her nostrils flare, her breathing coming faster. "With all due respect, Chief, my wife and I were…" She swallowed, feeling her face contort with pain, "…we were…she's my..."

And at that moment, her knees gave out on her, buckling beneath her as Chief Dodds caught her and helped her back into her desk chair.

"Detective Benson…Cabot…" He let go of her then and stood erect. "Take this time at home to be with your kids. We'll be working on this so you don't have to…"

"I _have_ to be here!" she whimpered. "The kids have school on Monday…I can't sit at home…I'll go crazy."

She thought then of her wife possibly not being returned before Monday, either, and that would mean the chances of finding her were slim to none.

She covered her face with her left hand and stood, moving toward her office door. She needed to get out of there and go somewhere private because the emotions that were about to come out of her wouldn't be anything she would _ever_ want _anyone_ to see. Not even Fin.

She placed her left hand on the doorknob and turned it just as Fin did the same on the other side. She gasped, her hand over her mouth, just wanting to flee this situation, this weak moment.

"Call came in from Central Park security," Fin said calmly.

Olivia's mouth opened then, eyes wide.

"Some kid, tryna get his ball out of a tree, and some glasses fell out with it. Same place where the blood was."

Olivia gasped and began crying behind her hand.

"The woman who called recognized the glasses from the newspaper photo."

Olivia placed her other hand over her mouth, as well.

"Liv, I think they might be Alex's glasses."

Olivia gasped again and then realization hit her. She widened her eyes and opened her mouth, the hope rising inside of her.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Detective?" Fin questioned.

"Prints."

"That's it," he smiled.

And, as if everything in the world depended on it, Olivia grabbed her blazer from the back of her chair, took her keys from her desk drawer, and adjusted her gun and badge as she followed Fin out the door, off to, hopefully, finally place one of the last pieces of this tortuous puzzle into place.


	7. Chapter 7

7

Olivia watched intently as the pair of glasses were carefully dusted—up down, up down—ever-so-slowly. The forensics lead of the crime scene unit, a handsome, mid-thirties strawberry blonde named Jason McAllister, gently set the brush down and held the pair of specs up.

The brunette had her arms folded as she fought every ounce in her being to grab them and run the prints through the fingerprint scanning machine herself. Instead, she felt her right knee shake slightly, vibrating with the impending results of the scan, content in the fact that McAllister was the best at what he did and that this whole process was extremely delicate and needed to be handled with extreme kid gloves.

"Looks like we have some smudged partial prints on the front of the glasses." He held them up to the light and tilted them back and forth. "See them?"

Olivia squinted and nodded, her mouth open. "Yeah…but I see something else on the other side." The brunette narrowed her eyes even more. "Is that…?"

McAllister placed the glasses back onto the surface and then repeated the same motion with the same white dust, dipping it into the container with care and then lightly and carefully brushing the inside of the lenses. He smiled and held them up then, looking at Olivia. "A perfect thumbprint."

Olivia's heart rate increased slightly as the adrenaline began to stir inside of her. She watched him carefully press the fingerprint lifting tape to the inside of the lens and finish the entire process. She looked at Fin, her hands going to the top of her head and running her fingers through her locks, the two just looking at each other.

"This is it, Liv. We're gonna find her," he offered with that quiet, smooth confidence.

Olivia only nodded and took a deep breath before returning her gaze to Jason. She watched as he placed the clear strip along the edge of the scanner—connected to a laptop—and then pressed a button with his gloved finger, the prints slowly being rolled downward into the device.

"If there's a match, and they're in the system, we got 'em," Fin offered.

"I know…" Olivia said softly.

The strip continued through, painstakingly slow, until it settled on the output tray and then McAllister moved to his computer, typing in a few things before a flurry of images began blinking across the screen—fingerprint, matching points of minutiae, face; fingerprint, matching points of minutiae, face—over and over again, each flash not more than a quarter of a second in length, hundreds flashing in front of them as they all stared at the screen.

And then the screen froze, a face appearing immediately. And it was a mug shot.

 _Raul Carlos Moreno. Born 3/4/1990._

And it went on to list his offenses: Aggravated sexual assault. Larceny. Possession and distribution of drugs. And on and on and on.

And there was his address.

Right there.

And, at that moment, Olivia had the feeling, a sensation when she looked at that particular address—621 Manida Street, Apartment. 441, Hunts Point, Bronx—and she felt her energy, her electricity, kick into overdrive and she was ready to go.

"Send that to my phone," she ordered, pointing. She turned and began to walk briskly down the hallway, Fin right next to her. "We'll take the FDR to the Robert Kennedy Bridge. It's about forty-five minutes."

"I'll call local Bronx PD for back up," Fin offered.

Olivia stopped and faced him. "This can't go wrong, Fin." She furrowed her brow.

"It won't, Liv. But we can't wait until _we_ get there, who knows…she'll be there longer and…"

Olivia felt her eyes fill with tears then and she swallowed, nodding. "You're right. As much as I want to cuff this bastard myself and pull his balls through his throat, she needs to get out of there as soon as possible…" Olivia thought for a moment, "…that is…if she's even there."

"She'll be there, Liv."

Olivia steeled herself and took her walkie-talkie from her back pocket, beginning to jog and speak into it. "This is Detective Olivia Benson-Cabot with SVU. I have a 10-72 at 621 Manida Street, Bronx, and I need officers on the scene. Please be advised, the suspect's name is Raul Moreno. He's armed and dangerous. There is an abducted woman inside the apartment. We need a bus at that location, too. Once again, the address is 621 Manida Street, Apartment 441."

They reached the car and Fin got in the driver's seat and Olivia in the passenger seat, both buckling up quickly, the car peeling out, sirens blaring, within seconds.

"Detective Tutuola and I are on our way. I repeat. Suspect is armed and dangerous. Please take precaution."

And the speed of the Caprice picked up, Olivia's body being instantly propelled backward as she held on to the door rest, and they were off to the Bronx to arrest the criminal who took Alex, rescue her wife, and bring her back home, once and for all.

"Let's get this bastard, Liv."

Olivia nodded, not able to keep a slight smile from creeping on her face. "Let's do this, detective."

* * *

 _Love has gone and left me and I don't know what to do;_

 _This or that or what you will is all the same to me;_

 _But all the things that I begin I leave before I'm through—_

 _There's little use in anything as far as I can see._

Alex felt her eyes fill with tears once more, remembering that poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay called "Ashes" that she had memorized in college. It had always struck her as hopeful before, perhaps the person writing it just stating the obvious fact that nothing stays the same, that all things change.

But now, as she recited it inside of her head once more, lying here in the darkened living area for the past twenty-six hours, it had taken on a whole different meaning. It spoke of despair. It spoke of things that would never happen. It spoke of an untimely end.

Alex felt a tear roll down her right cheek and her lower lip tremble as she thought of her wife.

Olivia.

They had been through so much together. They had met and there was instant magic on both sides. Their friendship grew, along with their attraction to each other and once they had consummated and professed their love, they had been unexpectedly separated. They got through that, through those five years, only to be reunited again, stronger than ever. Engaged right away, neither wanting a moment away from the other and, within a few months of marriage, they were expecting their first child.

The idealistic fantasy aspect of it was unreal. The part where they lived happily ever after had come so quickly and the blonde thought it would be that way until they were old and gray, helping each other up from chairs, laughing about their youth, watching their children grow, flourish, and create their own paths of life.

Alex's eyes filled with more tears now, her hope having dwindled, her thoughts of being saved now replaced by memories of her wife, of her children.

She smiled as she thought of her wife and her affinity to water. How Olivia, no matter the circumstance, the situation, once she became submerged in an ocean, a hot spring, a bathtub, her wife became a sex maniac. Alex couldn't help but giggle—a sad, longing happiness—at the face her wife made when she was turned on. It was the most beautiful expression Alex had ever seen and every time she had it on that amazingly flawless face, she couldn't help but fall in love with her just a tiny bit more, if that were even possible.

She had been married to Olivia for almost ten years now. And in those years, they had lived their lives, expanded their family, grown their careers into different branches. But in that time, they had all been existing in sheer bliss and the blonde wouldn't trade any of the moments for anything.

And all she wanted was to have them back. To see her wife's amazingly gorgeous eyes. To feel her embrace, her arms around her. To feel her kisses again. To have the little arms of her children around her again. To hear their laughs and uninhibited freedom of happiness.

That was all she wanted. Not much really.

But as she lay there, looking up at the ceiling once more, she felt nothing but desperation and anguish. She felt she would never be found. She felt she would be here, tied to this bed, until she drew her last breath.

The children would live without her and Olivia would go on. Olivia was an amazing mother and Alex knew that she would do an incredible job with the kids. She had no doubt of that.

Her mind jumped back into present reality and she remembered that she was in excruciating physical pain in more than one area of her body. At this point, she dare not move her arms or legs. Any motion of her wrists or ankles would remind her of the raw skin that was now there. The coarseness of the rope had been rubbing through the first layers of her skin, and she felt the exposed, wet, bloody layers beneath.

Her backside was completely numb, but the pain along her spine and shoulder blades was indescribable—a stabbing, burning, throbbing ache that never stopped.

But it wasn't just physical.

The cracks and water stains on the ceiling had become a sort of art work to her, now having taken on shapes of animals—a goat and a turtle—and one of an old man's face—perhaps Van Gogh? —and she swore that now she could hear the _Rachmaninoff Piano Concertos No. 2 in C Minor_ playing somewhere in the room. She felt like she was losing her mind and, in all honesty, she very well could have been.

But she had a plan. A last resort of sorts to try and save herself. But the conditions would have to be just right.

It was something she hesitated to do because if it went wrong, it would go terribly wrong and she wasn't sure she would be able to handle the outcome.

She knew that Raul was sleeping in the bedroom and Rosa was out. Pedro was coming back any minute with some of their usual convenience store items, so she had to put the plan into effect as soon as Pedro got back and before Raul woke up.

Alex looked toward the door as she heard the lock turn and the piece of wood squeak open. Just as expected, Pedro with two brown grocery bags.

She smiled at him and the look on his face was priceless—surprise, disbelief, elation.

"What'd ya get?" she asked cheerfully.

Pedro set the bags on the kitchen table and then turned and looked at the closed bedroom door before moving slowly towards her. "Uh…I got…" he looked back again, "…some rum and more beer and some chips…" He stepped even closer then and looked back once more before standing at the foot of the cot.

"You still have those condoms?" She raised her eyebrows.

His face lit up, a goofy grin covering his perspiration-covered skin. "Y-yeah…I got 'em right here…" He pulled one out of his back pocket. "I thought you—?"

"Well you thought wrong," Alex smiled, moving her wrist and feeling the jute cut further into her skin. She fought the urge to moan. " _Someone's_ sleeping and I thought maybe now would be a good time, Pedro. We have some privacy." She smiled at him once more.

"Yeah?" he questioned, sitting next to her legs. "Do you think we have time?"

"How long do _you_ need, baby?" She batted her eyes at him.

"Uh…" Pedro looked at the closed door again before his gaze went back to her, his eyes running along her body, "…I don't think I need long…"

"Perfect," she winked. "Then let's get to it. Take your pants off, big boy."

Pedro's eyes went wider then, his gaze still on her body and he stood and unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Then a look of confusion washed over his face. "Uh…" he looked at her ankles tied together and then back at her and then her ankles, and then around the room.

"Use that knife over there," Alex encouraged. "The one on the counter."

Pedro looked behind him and then hastily moved a few feet away and grabbed the pocket knife before returning to Alex.

"Hurry, Pedro. I'm ready _now_ …" Alex cooed. "I gotta have you…"

Alex watched as he opened the knife and then placed it against the rope in between her ankles and began sawing, his face now dripping with perspiration, one drop forming on the tip of his nose, threatening to fall.

"That's it, Baby. Almost there…" Alex coaxed, watching his face, his every action.

Halfway through the half-inch rope and he was still working on it, even more beads forming along his forehead now.

A few more back and forth motions and the rope was separated, her ankles were detached, and Pedro closed the knife and stuck it into his back pocket, smiling at her.

"Let me see what you have, Baby," Alex cooed.

Pedro pushed his jeans down then, his large shirt falling at his upper thighs. He hiked it up, revealing that rotund midsection, and Alex let her eyes go to the area in question. And she didn't see anything. Only the bottom hem of his boxer briefs.

"Come here, Pedro. But you have to be gentle. I haven't done this in a long time."

"Oh, right. Cuz…"

Alex nodded. "Right."

He moved closer and placed his left knee on the bed and then hiked his right leg over her, his knees now on either side of her hips.

"Want me to help you get ready, Pedro? Because I'm already there." Alex swallowed as she looked at the massive man hovering over her, feeling her eyes burn with emotion now at the reality of what she had put into motion for the sake of one last ditch effort, the sickness in her stomach.

But this was the plan.

Pedro nodded adamantly, his face glistening.

"My hands, Pedro..." She looked at him with expectant eyes and he reached into his back pocket once more and then moved the blade to the rope on her wrists, beginning the same back and forth motion.

Once the ropes were cut from either side of her thighs and her arms and legs were now mobile, it was tempting to just run, head for the door and leave. But she knew, unless incapacitated, he would over power her and she would be in an even worse situation.

She needed to continue.

Ands so, with trembling hands, ropes still cuffed and dangling from her wrists like bracelets, now able to see the damage they had caused, Alex reached for the waistband of his boxer briefs and tugged at the elastic.

I need you to move backward, Baby." Alex smiled up at him, feeling her mouth tremble, the bile rising up into her throat.

He smiled and leaned forward then, his face moving to just millimeters in front of her own, his hot, sour breath hitting her space, and she fought her gag reflex. And, instead of moving down just yet, she felt him move closer, his hot, fleshy mouth being pressed to her own, his probing tongue instantly inside her mouth, his acrid taste suddenly becoming her own taste.

And she wanted to vomit right then and there.

Roughly, he broke the kiss and he now inched slightly downward then, his large hand tugging her sweat shirt to her cleavage, to place a hard, rough kiss on her upper chest, Alex gasping and panting as he did so, fighting the urge to cry, but feeling her eyes well with tears.

He then moved slightly further down and lifted her shirt upward, kissing her breastbone with force, his stubble painfully scraping along her flesh.

And now was her chance. She saw the window as clear as day at that exact moment. The right alignment. The correct position for what she wanted to do.

And with all of the force she could summon, she let her right knee make impact with the obese man's crotch, his face immediately twisting in pain, his hands going to his groin, his body cowering into itself as he struggled to even breathe.

"What the _fuck_?" Pedro huffed, confused, his large body falling off to the side and onto the ground in a ball.

Raul now. "It's the last time, man. I told you already." He pulled a whimpering Pedro by his shirt then, pulling him to a standing position and shoving him toward the front door.

A loud banging sound. Deafening.

The whole front apartment door was suddenly horizontal, teetering halfway on a kitchen chair, and five officers were suddenly inside the room with them. Raul with his hands in the air, Pedro still holding himself and grimacing.

Alex gasped, attempting to sit up, but being encumbered by her own pain and weakness. "Please…" she said softly, feeling her face twist with relief, holding her braceleted wrists up "…please get these off of me…and get me out of here..."

A female officer approached her slowly, hands slightly raised. "I'm Officer Darwin. Are you OK?"

Alex nodded quickly, watching as Raul and Pedro were cuffed and led out of the apartment.

"An ambulance is on its way and we're gonna get you out of here," Officer Darwin informed her.

The squealing siren of an ambulance was heard now, getting closer, and Alex couldn't help but sob harder as Officer Darwin cut the remainder of the ropes from her, setting her free, and finally ending this twenty-six hour-long nightmare.

And all she wanted to do was see her wife. And her children. She closed her eyes, beginning to cry even harder from relief, from her prayers and wishes coming true, as the EMTs rushed in with their equipment and bags and she thanked God that she had been found.


	8. Chapter 8

_**8**_

Alex looked up at the muscular, male EMT on her left as he began to wrap her left wrist. Her eyes were filled with tears as she questioned, "Where's Detective Benson-Cabot?" Her own voice was meek, quiet.

Mark, or so his narrow, gold name tag read, smiled before securing the gauze carefully and then looked at her. "She's on her way to the hospital." He looked through the back windows of the ambulance and nodded toward them. "I think that's her and her partner right there. They radioed that they were right behind us." He motioned with his head and then lifted her other wrist.

Alex looked through the small window of glass to see the navy Caprice, that her wife normally used for work—red light flashing—and she saw a familiar close-cropped, silhouette of a head in the driver's seat, and then moved her gaze to the passenger seat.

It was her wife. She knew her anywhere—even at fifty feet away and without her glasses—but she couldn't quite make her out completely. And she wanted so desperately to do that, to see her, to look into her eyes, to feel her.

To hear her voice. And, God, she missed her voice.

The only sounds she wanted were those of love, kindness, familiarity, and she felt her eyes well with even more tears then as she thought of this fact and Mark finished the dressing on her other wrist.

"We're almost there," he encouraged, looking at her with empathy.

Alex only nodded and leaned her head back on the pillow, eyes still on her wife, feeling her vision roll slightly, as she closed her eyes.

* * *

Olivia couldn't help it. Tears filled her eyes as she rested her right elbow on the ledge of the passenger window, her hand over her mouth as she looked at her wife through the back of the ambulance. Seeing her lying there, being worked on by an EMT next to her, she was filled with mixed emotions—joy that her wife had been found and was coming home, but anger and vengeance that she was hurt and had gone through this in the first place.

"We're almost there, Liv. Just a couple more minutes," Fin soothed.

Olivia nodded quickly, feeling a tear roll down her right cheek. She sniffed and hastily swiped it away before returning it to cover her mouth, her lips trembling behind it.

"It's gonna be alright, Liv. Alex is gonna be just fine. With you and the kids all together again…"

Olivia clenched her jaw. "I'm just so _angry_ , Fin," she uttered, her voice shaky. "I'm so—I feel like I want to—" But she didn't finish her sentence, afraid of what might come out of her mouth.

She would have her time, in the same room, with all of them—everyone involved in her wife's abduction—and until that happened, there was only one thing that needed to take place.

Taking care of Alex and making sure she was OK both physically and mentally.

The fact that she could see that the EMT was wrapping her wrists, told of restraining. The fact that her wife's face was pink, spoke of pain and heartache.

And it killed the brunette.

The ambulance stopped in front of the emergency entrance doors and within seconds, the two EMTs from the front had gotten out, moved around the back, and opened the doors.

Olivia pulled on the handle and swung her door open, her eyes not leaving the opening back of the ambulance, and then she shut it, jogging directly to the gurney where her wife was laying. The stretcher was pulled out and lowered and the brunette went around to Alex's right side as the medical workers stopped briefly, knowing who she was from the badge on her hip, the call she had just made, and the story in the paper. She leaned over her wife, feeling her emotions come on strongly then.

And then those blue eyes opened and looked at her, and that porcelain face scrunched with dolorous relief, her hands reaching out to her.

Olivia took them and kissed each, before placing her hand on her wife's cheek. "You're gonna be OK, Al…"

Alex only nodded adamantly, her mouth trembling, tears falling.

"We need to get her inside, Detective."

Olivia nodded, looking at Alex as she pulled away slightly, their fingertips still touching, the blonde's hands loosening in her hold until they went flax on her lap. Her wife looked so small, so defenseless, so frail, so exhausted.

She stepped backward and watched as Alex's eyes rolled and then closed and she furrowed her brow, falling asleep, and they wheeled her into the hospital.

Two officers walked up then, nodding at Olivia, their hands on their duty belts.

Olivia narrowed her eyes and looked at one of the EMTs. "Why does she seem so…?"

"We had to give her pain medication and a sedative," a shorter, blonde EMT explained.

"A _sedative_?" Olivia asked incredulously. " _Why_?"

"When she had to wait in the apartment for us to set up and check her vitals, she lost it, Detective. We had to sedate her for the safety of our team. She wanted to run out of there. Was fighting us. But she couldn't have gotten away even if she wanted to. Her back is all messed up and she was much too weak."

"She just wanted to get out of there," a female officer named Darwin, from the scene, offered, her voice shaky eyebrows raised, shaking her head. "I think she went through hell, Detective."

Olivia nodded, trying not to break down again. "Thank you, officers. I need to be in there. Detective Tutuola and I will be in touch." She tried a smile and then looked at Fin who was by the Caprice, talking with the other officers from the scene of the rescue. She opened her mouth to call something to him and he nodded in understanding.

She turned and headed through the doors of the emergency entrance, ready to be there for her wife in any way that she could.

* * *

Sitting in a chair to the left of Alex's bed, Olivia watched her wife sleep. The blonde was out—subdued and medicinally placated—and the brunette knew she was dreaming because her hands were twitching, her feet, as well, and every now and then her brow would furrow and her chin would lift slightly.

She wanted so badly for those blue eyes to open up, to look at her, to see her awake and alert and OK; but, at the same time, she knew Alex needed rest from the toll of what she had gone through both physically and emotionally, coupled with relief and her current state chemically, and Olivia would wait as long as it took for her to awaken.

She swallowed, looking at her beautiful wife lying there in that white hospital bed that seemed to dwarf her, an IV in her arm giving her much-needed fluids, her pink mouth subtly chapped and slightly parted, her hair messy and matted and in a lopsided ponytail, and she couldn't help but feel her heart expand, enlarge, at seeing her so helpless, so defeated, so kicked down; yet now so safe once more.

The right side of Alex's upper lip was swollen, and there was bruising just below her nose, as well, crusted blood inside of her right nostril. There was also an abrasion on her right cheek—red and raw and sore—and Olivia gathered that she must have received a blow at some point to that area of her face.

The brunette sniffed and swallowed, nodding to herself, and felt her eyes fill with tears as she leaned over from the chair she was sitting in and took her wife's left hand, gently holding it, running her thumb over the soft skin on the back before leaning over and placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. She lifted her head then and felt Alex's hand jerk slightly then and she peered at her face briefly before looking back down at her hand.

 _Where are her rings?_ Olivia thought to herself, her mouth parting, brow furrowing.

 _Did Raul or one of his guys take them?_

"How is she?" Fin's quiet voice questioned from the doorway.

Olivia looked up, still confused. "She's…uh, she hasn't woken up yet. But…"

Fin moved further inside the room.

"…they did a rape kit on her, just in case, and to collect more evidence from her…but…" Olivia looked back at her wife's bare finger, "…her wedding and engagement rings are gone, Fin."

"We'll find 'em, Liv. We got Raul Moreno and Pedro Escobar at the station in the tank. Brother Armando was arrested coming back home and he was askin' about someone named Rosa. If she'd been arrested too. Must be a girlfriend or something."

Olivia stood now and moved up to Fin, placing her hands on his elbows and backing him up a foot or so, standing close and leaning in, speaking low, her eyes not focused on him but somewhere in between his neck and his chin. "I don't want to talk about it here, in front of her, until she's awake and has had a chance to talk about it first. I don't want to risk anything…upset her." She looked into his warm, deep brown eyes. "Does that make sense?"

Fin smiled. "Makes perfect sense, Liv." He looked at her intently now. "And now comes the hard decision for _you_. We got the three of them at the station and I know you want to be in on the interrogations, but I also know you want to be here."

Olivia nodded fervently, feeling the lump in her throat. "Yeah," she whispered.

"So…I was thinking…CSI is doing they thang at the apartment and have a couple more hours to go, it's…" he looked at his watch briefly, "…about four now…I say we keep the three guys in there tonight, you stay here with Alex until she wakes up, and we deal with the questioning of Raul and his posse tomorrow." Fin raised his eyebrows. "Whatchoo think?"

Olivia tried a smile. "Thanks, Fin…"

"For what, Liv?"

"For thinking this through, coming up with a plan, because…"

"I got you, Detective." He smiled. "Always."

Olivia moved into him and wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes and resting her cheek on his shoulder, the older detective doing the same. "I know you do, my friend." She hugged him tighter. "I know you do."

They pulled away and the brunette half-smiled.

"I'll head back to the station," Fin began. "I'll holler atcha when I get there, Liv." He winked and then turned and walked out of the room and down the hallway.

A doctor headed into the room then and she smiled.

"Detective Benson-Cabot?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Yes," Olivia offered, glancing at the doctor's nametag, _Dr. Monica Roberts, PhD.,_ before looking back at her face.

She was Olivia's height, with medium-length dark black hair and small, dark eyes and a kind smile.

"I'm Dr. Roberts." She looked at Alex.

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Roberts," Olivia took a deep breath, both of them now looking at the blonde. "She hasn't woken up yet, Doctor."

"That was a strong sedative they gave her, midazolam. She must have really been agitated for them to give it to her. But she'll sleep now, and…" she flipped through a couple of pages on the clipboard in her arms, "…according to the EMTs, they also gave her ten milligrams of morphine to help with her back pain."

Olivia felt that lump again and she swallowed it down, nodding.

"She's been in and out, as you know, but mostly out. And her verbal consent for the rape kit was helpful." Dr. Roberts cocked her head to the side. "I know she appreciated you being there during that, even though she wasn't awake for most of it."

"Of course…" Olivia said softly. "And her fluids? Her back? Her wrists?" Olivia felt her eyes begin to water again, no matter how hard she fought to keep them away. "Her nose?"

Dr. Roberts reached out and placed a hand on Olivia's upper arm. "Your wife is going to be fine, Detective." She smiled. "I promise. Nothing broken, no infections. She was really low on fluids but we're getting those into her now. Her wrists and ankles will heal and the pain is being managed. She said she wasn't raped, but there might be other DNA on her that will be helpful, as you know…"

Olivia nodded. "And her back?"

"She was immobile for over twenty-four hours and, with her prior issues with that region, especially due to stress, it amplified her previous problems. Her back pain has always been stress-related, you say?" Dr. Robert's raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah…if she's going through a particularly stressful time…she's always had back and neck pain and headaches."

"Well, I'd say the situation she was in constitutes a stressful one and not being able to move for so long only aggravated it."

Olivia swallowed again, looking at her wife. "But she's gonna be OK?"

Dr. Roberts smiled. "Her pain is under control and we have her in clean clothes now, after her accident."

And Olivia knew already what the doctor was referring to. There was no explanation necessary. And it was yet another thing that Olivia hated Raul Moreno for, and another thing for the brunette to be proud of her wife for. But still, the look on Alex's face when they removed her soiled clothing was almost too much to bear. But Olivia understood and wanted her wife to know that she always would be empathetic and understand. No secrets between them. No embarrassment. Nothing to be ashamed of.

"I know she's gonna ask when she can go home when she wakes up again. And I…" Olivia sniffed, "…I'd like to know, too…and our kids are gonna want to know. My sister-in-law is watching them right now and I need to know what to tell them."

"I think she needs to stay here, at least, overnight, Detective. I think it would be best to get her on track with fluids and make sure she's able to move around first."

Olivia looked at Alex again. "She's not gonna like that. I _know_ she's not." She looked back at Dr. Roberts. "Can't she come home tonight?"

"Like I said, we need to watch her, keep the IV in her, make sure her numbers are OK first. Her blood pressure has gone down since she arrived, so that's a good thing. And if, when she wakes up, she's hungry, let the nurses know and they'll get her something to eat."

Olivia nodded, looking back at Alex and moving towards her, standing next to the bed. "OK. But…I'm gonna stay here tonight, then." She took her wife's left hand again. "No matter what she says."

"That'd be fine, Detective. Do you have any other questions?"

Olivia looked at the doctor and smiled. "Not right now. Thank you, Doctor."

Dr. Roberts nodded and then turned and left the room, closed the door behind her, placed the clipboard in the slot outside of the room, and moved on to the next patient.

Olivia carefully sat on the bed to the left of the blonde and felt her eyes fill with tears once more. "We're gonna get through this, Al…" she whispered. "I'm here for you, Babe…"

Eyelids fluttering then and then amazing blueness. And a smile. Her wife looked at her with such love, such appreciation, that Olivia couldn't help but begin to sob.

"Hi, Babe," Olivia said softly.

"Hey, Liv," Alex looked her face over as she squeezed her hand back with equal fervor. "You look…" Alex shook her head, "… _so_ beautiful, Liv."

"Oh, yeah?" Olivia smiled, raising her eyebrows. "Hard to believe after I've been so…" Olivia swallowed, "…worried about you…"

Alex nodded, wincing slightly, before looking back at her. "You've always looked good in your work clothes." Alex tried to wink but it came out more like a double-eyed, extra-long blink.

Olivia couldn't help but smile at her and shake her head. "How are you feeling, Al?"

Alex moaned, closing her eyes and dipping her head further into her pillow. "Right now? I feel...nothing...numb, but…"

She opened her eyes, the blueness still mesmerizing to Olivia.

"But?" Olivia questioned.

Alex shook her head then, her eyes filling with tears. "God, Olivia…" she whispered, "…I thought…I thought I…" Her face wrinkled with emotion than and she put her right hand over her face.

Olivia moved in and carefully wrapped her arms around her wife. Alex leaning forward to return the embrace fully. And they held each other, each shaking with relief, both crying in the other's arms.

"Shhh," Olivia soothed, lightly tickling the back of her wife's neck with her fingertips, "…you're safe now, Babe. And it's time for you to relax and get better before we think about anything else, my love." Olivia smiled. "OK?" Olivia moved to pull away but was met with her wife not forfeiting the hold.

Olivia smiled and kissed the shell of her ear.

"I don't want to let you go, Liv," Alex whispered. "Just hold me like this… _please_ …"

Olivia felt her lower lip quaver then and she smiled. "Anything you want, Babe." Olivia kissed her ear lobe then. "Anything."

And, at that moment, Olivia felt their world's puzzle pieces fall back into place. It was going to be a rough few days, even weeks, but she knew that with the love they had for each other and their will and drive to persist, there was nothing that they couldn't, and wouldn't, get through.

As her wife's body hummed against her own, her heartbeat felt against her own breast, she knew that this much was certain.

* * *

 **A/N: Each chapter, from now on, will pick up right after what last happened, so we don't miss anything. For example, the next chapter will pick up right after Olivia and Alex's last conversation.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing to all of you who do.**


	9. Chapter 9

_**9**_

Olivia glanced at her wife, who was sound asleep again, as she held her cellphone to her ear and then stepped out of the room and closed the door, eyes still on her through the glass.

The other end of the line picked up and Olivia smiled upon hearing her mother-in-law's voice—this time being a happy reason to call.

"Olivia. Did you find my baby?" Cathy Cabot questioned, her voice a high-pitched whimper.

Olivia nodded, smiling. "Yeah, Cathy. We found her. She's safe here in the hospital."

"Hospital? What happened to her. Did they hurt her, Olivia? Please tell me, Dear. I want to know."

Olivia took a deep breath and let it out quietly. "What we originally thought was a past case turned out to be correct. He had her in his apartment, tied up, and she couldn't move, didn't eat, no water." Olivia swallowed then and closed her eyes. "But…she's resting now, Cathy. She's being hydrated and she's doing as well as she can."

A whimpering on the other end of the phone, the older woman trying to keep it together.

"She's safe, Cathy. We found her. She's out of danger…" Olivia felt her lower lip begin to tremble.

"Thank you, Dear," Cathy said softly. "My beautiful girl is safe and I thank you, Olivia."

Olivia smiled. "She's my wife, Cathy…I had to find her…" The brunette's eyes filled with tears. "I love her more than anything."

Cathy Cabot sniffed and whimpered. "Can Bill and I come out? Maybe in a day or two. Help you take care of things at the house while you help put these people in jail?"

Olivia smiled. "I think that would be great, Cathy. Alex will be coming home tomorrow, Sunday, and you and Bill being here would be really helpful, not only helping with the kids but also helping Alex." The brunette nodded. "That'd be great. How about tomorrow night or Monday morning?"

"Whenever you need us, Dear. We want to be there to take care of the little ones and…" Cathy squeaked, "…our baby girl."

Olivia pursed her lips, fighting her own emotions. "Tomorrow night, Cathy. I think that would be perfect."

"OK then, Dear. I'll tell Billy and we'll pack and plan on staying a little while. OK?"

Olivia nodded. "Sounds great. And Cathy?"

"Yes, Olivia?"

"Thank you…"

"For what, Dear?"

"For your hope and prayers and positivity. It really helps and means a lot in a time like this." Olivia smiled.

"Of course, Olivia. Family is the most important thing in life."

"It is…" Olivia continued to watch her wife through the window, watching as she began to stir from sleep. "I gotta go. Alex is waking up. But we'll see you tomorrow night?" Olivia raised her eyebrows.

"See you tomorrow."

And the call was ended and Olivia tapped on the red "X" and then slipped her phone into her back pocket, moving to the door and opening it.

Olivia watched her wife twitch in her sleep, her mouth open, forehead knitted, and then she gasped and her eyes popped open.

"Where are the kids?" Alex sat up then, panicked, and began touching all of the cords that were attached to her, looking at them as though foreign objects. "What the hell? Where…?" Alex looked at Olivia. "Where are the _kids_ , Liv?"

"Hey, hey, hey…" Olivia soothed, sitting next to her and placing her hands on her upper arms, guiding her wife backward, "…we've talked about this, Al. The kids are OK. They're at home, with Jonathan. They're safe."

Alex closed her eyes and let out a huge sigh of relief. "I just had…" Her eyes opened then and those blue pools looked at her intensely. "I dreamed they never made it home…that they were…" Alex's mouth began to quaver then, her eyes watering, "…missing, too…" she said softly.

Olivia shook her head. "No, Babe. Remember? I told you they made it to Mrs. Ethan's and they were all fine? And I went over there when she called?"

Alex sat up and leaned forward holding her arms out.

Olivia moved into her and wrapped her arms around her wife, closing her eyes. Olivia began rocking her slowly, rubbing her back gently.

"I remember now, Liv," Alex whispered. "I remember now…"

Within a few moments, Olivia felt her wife's body go limp, her arms losing their grip, and the brunette pulled away and gently let gravity return Alex to the inclined bed. The brunette reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair, from her disheveled ponytail, behind her ear and then smiled at her wife's closed eyes, her slightly parted mouth.

"Liv?" Alex managed, even in the midst of falling back to sleep.

"Yeah, Babe?" Olivia leaned closer and placed her left hand next to the blonde's right hip. "What is it, Al?"

"Let's…" Alex's voice was soft, "…let's go home, Liv…"

Olivia smiled and cocked her head to the side, watching as Alex's head sunk further into her pillow, her breathing slowing and becoming heavy. "You got it, Al."

"Tonight?" Alex whispered.

"Not tonight, Al. Tomorrow."

"But…I want to go home tonight, Liv. _Please_?" A pink hue crept into Alex's cheeks then, her lower lip trembling, eyes remaining closed. "I just want to go _home_ ," she whined softly.

"I know you do, Al." Olivia fought her own tears as she swallowed hard. "But we need to make sure everything is OK with you before we go home, my love."

Alex began sobbing then, her body shaking with sorrow, her face wrinkling as she placed both hands over her face.

" _Please_ , Al…" Olivia begged, "…please don't cry, Babe…" Olivia took her wife's hands from her face then, into both of her own, and brought them to her mouth, kissing softly. "Please don't cry."

Alex's eyes opened then and her somberness pierced right into Olivia's soul. "I just want to see my babies, hear them, feel them…" The angst on her face was unbearable. "Please, Olivia. Can I see Theo and Gracie and Iz? If I can't go home tonight, I want to, at least, see them, Babe… _please_ …"

Olivia smiled and nodded. "Of course, Al. You rest and I'll make it happen. OK?"

Alex nodded and closed her eyes once again, turning her face to the right. She took in a deep breath before letting it out slowly, releasing a heavy sigh.

And Olivia watched as she fell asleep once more, knowing what her wife needed now more than anything else.

* * *

Olivia looked at the screen of her iPhone _—6:37 p.m.—_ and then set it back on top of the overbed rolling tray table next to her left where she was sitting in a chair next to the bed.

She had spoken with Jonathan a little while prior and he had been more than elated that his sister had been found and was OK. His joy—as equated to Olivia's—was also mixed with anger that this had ever happened in the first place and the two had shared a moment of camaraderie on the phone in the midst of the news and details about her hospital stay and recovery.

He had gotten off of work earlier from the hospital than he had originally planned, wanting to be there for Olivia and the family in any way that he could, and he and Casey were going to take the children—all five of them—out to eat and then drop Casey and Katie and Kimberly off at the town house before Jonathan brought the three Benson-Cabot kids to see their blonde mother, each thinking it best to not overwhelm Alex with even more people, even more children.

A gentle knock was heard on the hospital room door and Olivia looked to her left and slightly behind her to see Jonathan's tall, beefy frame on the other side, hands holding the twins' hands, Theo in front waving at Olivia, a huge smile on his face.

Olivia couldn't help but smile wide upon seeing them and she waved back as she stood immediately and moved to open the door. "Hey, Babies," she cooed softly, bending over and hugging all of them tightly, still in her black jeans and black silk blouse, her hair now in a ponytail, her blazer having been long since removed.

The kids started to rush to their blonde mother, but Olivia stopped them with her arms.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…wait a minute, my loves. Let me talk to you for a minute. OK?" Olivia squatted and placed her hands on their hips—Theo on the left, Isabel on the right, Grace in the middle.

The kid's eyes were on Olivia as they intermittently glanced at Alex behind her, she could tell by the way their eyes kept shifting.

"We need to be quiet, my loves. Mommy is very tired, OK. And…" Olivia looked up at Jonathan whose eyes were on his sister, his face somber, jaw clenched, his eyes watering profusely, "…and Mommy has some places that she got hurt and you can see them. OK? But I don't want you to be scared. She's fine and she is just gonna be so happy to see you."

"Mommy has ouchies like you had ouchies with that other bad man. Right, Mama?" Theo questioned. "I can see Mommy's," he whispered, eyeing Alex.

Olivia nodded, "That's right, Theo. Like Mama did. But she's OK…" Olivia looked at Grace and Isabel then, rubbing their upper arms, "…OK?"

Grace's thumb went into her mouth as she looked at her blonde mother behind Olivia, and Isabel's face was frozen, her eyes also fixed on their mother in the hospital bed.

Olivia stood then, looking at her brother-in-law whose face held grief, anger, and empathy, all rolled into one tanned, handsome, dirty blonde-stubbled face. She moved closer to him and they walked into each other, the two embracing fully. Olivia could feel the burly man shaking then, his emotions felt through his hug.

"She's gonna be OK, Jonathan," Olivia said softly.

Jonathan nodded as he pulled away, sniffing and wiping his eyes. "She'd better be," he tried a light laugh. "I don't know what I'd do without her, Olivia."

Olivia squeezed his bicep then. "You and me both, Jonathan."

They both looked at the kids now who were creeping up to the bed carefully, slowly, following their brunette mother's directions to try and remain quiet.

Olivia folded her arms and smiled at them, Grace looking back at her. "Go ahead Babes. She wants to see you. She's only _kind of_ sleeping," Olivia encouraged.

Isabel was the first to approach the bed, ever the bold one. She leaned in close to Alex's ear. "Mommy?" she whispered. She reached out and touched her cheek with her forefinger, gently, before leaning in again. "It's Izzie…"

Olivia covered her mouth with her hand, witnessing the sweetness.

Grace looked at Olivia, her eyes worried. She then looked at Isabel and then Theo and then back at Alex.

"Go closer, Babies," Olivia coaxed.

The kids moved closer in a group then, the hesitancy apparent, their sensitivity to the entire situation almost astounding to the brunette.

"Mommy?" Theo questioned then, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Alex's eyes opened then and she opened her mouth and then closed it, beginning to cry. "My babies," she squeaked, sitting up and holding her arms out.

Within seconds, all three children had climbed on top of her and were piled on, holding her tightly, Alex reciprocating the embrace. She kissed them all over their faces, their heads, their necks and hands, tears streaming down her face.

Olivia brought her lips inward then, able to feel her wife's relief, her satisfaction of knowing that the children were OK. Olivia already explained many times and could have told her five-million times of how they went to Mrs. Ethan's, she brought them home and they slept in the bed with her the previous night, and of how she took care of them after the blonde went missing. But nothing replaced all three little ones being there, Alex able to hold them, smell them, hear them, talk to them.

And Olivia understood this completely.

Olivia felt Jonathan's' arm wrap around her then and she looked up, smiling up at him with tears in her eyes as she wrapped her own arm around the towering man.

"My babies…I missed you so much!" Alex oozed, still holding them tightly.

The kids relaxed into her then—Isabel on her right, Grace on her left, Theo in the middle against her belly—their hug having subsided and the three now comfortably resting against her.

"What's this?" Isabel asked, pointing to the clear tube coming out of the back of Alex's hand.

Alex smiled. "It's water and other important things like vitamins for Mommy's body. It's helping me get better."

"Are you coming home, Mommy?" Grace asked, her head resting against the blonde's chest.

Alex looked at Olivia and smiled. "Tomorrow, my loves. Mommy will be ready to come home tomorrow. OK?" She stroked Theo's hair then, their boy's head on Alex's upper belly.

"And you can keep reading Superfudge and we can practice scales on the piano?" Theo asked, pulling away and looking at her.

Alex smiled. "And I can keep reading Superfudge, my boy, and we can practice your scales on the piano."

Theo placed his head back on Alex's mid-chest and she began stroking his locks, as well, placing a kiss there before she looked up at Olivia and her brother.

"Can I stay here with you tonight, Mommy?" Theo questioned, beginning to play with the plastic, pink bracelet on Isabel's left wrist.

Olivia stepped in. "Theo, you have to stay at home with your sisters and cousins. Uncle Johnny and Aunt Casey will be there and you'll—"

"No!" he yelled, his face wrinkled and reddened. "I want Mommy there and…" he gasped then, his crying intensifying, "…I don't…" he gasped, "…want anyone but…" he gasped again, tears streaming down his face at this point, "…Mommy and…" he gasped, "…Mama!" He buried his face into Alex's upper chest then, continuing to gasp and cry.

Isabel's eyes were watering and she moved into her brother, hugging him from behind, and Grace reached up to hug Alex's neck before climbing off of the bed and then moving up to Olivia and hugging her hips, her thumb going into her mouth.

This had been an emotional time for all of them and the separation anxiety all three were feeling was justifiable.

Olivia squatted down and wrapped her arm around their brown-eyed daughter, hugging her from the side as she placed her head on the brunette's shoulder. Alex continued to comfort Theo and Isabel as the two continued to hold on to her.

"Guys…" Olivia began, standing then and holding her hand out to Grace.

Their little girl took it and Olivia walked to the bed and sat next to her wife's shins, Grace sitting on the brunette detective's lap.

"…we all agree we missed your Mommy very much. Right?" Olivia looked at all three kids and then Alex.

The kids nodded adamantly, listening carefully.

"And we were all scared and worried about her, right?" Olivia raised her eyebrows.

They nodded again, Isabel and Theo's eyes now wet with tears. Olivia looked down at Grace and saw her thumb in her mouth again, looking at her siblings.

"And now she's here and she's safe and she's gonna get better. Right?" Olivia looked at Alex, whose eyes were emotional as she continued to stroke Theo and Isabel soothingly.

Alex mouthed the words, _I love you,_ and smiled.

Olivia puckered briefly and then mouthed, _I love you, too_. "And we want Mommy to be better and get well so she can be healthy and do all the things we love to do with her like…go on a walk and play in the courtyard and play soccer and—"

"Play piano with me!" Theo beamed.

"And help me with my drawings!" Grace offered.

"And dance with Mama in the kitchen!" Isabel squeaked.

Olivia smiled, feeling her mouth tremble. "All those things, Babies." She sniffed. "And we want her to be one-hundred percent well so we can do all those things, right?" Olivia raised her eyebrows and looked at all four of the beings, that she loved more than life itself, in front of her.

The kids all nodded, smiling.

"Well, one more night and she'll be back home for good. And we can do all those things again, Babes. What do you think?"

Alex nodded looking at their children before looking at Olivia and winking.

"Yea! We want Mommy to get better so she can have fun with us!" Isabel cheered.

The three kids began their own victory dances and cheering section of sorts then, the brunette having been able to detour the disappointment with hope.

"So that's what we'll do, my loves. Tomorrow morning, your Mommy and I will come home and we'll have a little celebration and we'll spend the rest of the day together and just be happy. How does that sound?" Olivia smiled.

Another round of cheers and agreement was had and Olivia looked at Alex once more, the blonde's eyes filled with tears. One rolled down her cheek and the brunette reached forward and gently wiped it away with her thumb.

She watched as Alex's face contorted with emotion then and she held their children closer, and Olivia could see, just from the intensity of those past few moments, that this would be more than just a simple struggle. Getting her wife healed and better and on the right track to overcoming what had happened to her was going to be a challenge, there was no denying that.

And Olivia knew that she would offer the support, the arms, the shoulder, the ears, and the experience to help her wife get through it as a best friend, as a wife, and in a partnership that would prove to stand tall through whatever life brought them.

* * *

Alex lay, wide awake, in the dim room, only the fluorescent, overhead light above the bed on. The night staff had taken shift a few hours ago and the new ensemble was there, already having checked on the blonde numerous times in the past few hours, making sure she was OK, if she wanted anything to eat—of which she had only had applesauce and Jell-O, her stomach not able to handle much more—and now, at 4:34 a.m., the wing of the hospital had an almost tranquility about it.

Aside from her wife's heavy breathing that was.

Alex smiled as she watched the brunette, sitting uncomfortably in the wooden and vinyl contraption next to the bed, upright. Her head was lolled to the right side, light blue blanket covering her and clutched against her neck, right knee up with her foot on the chair she was sitting upon, the other one straight out on the floor.

She looked so uncomfortable yet so adorable. Alex watched as her head began to slowly move from the side around to the back and she caught it quickly, still sleeping, and then returned it to the right. Her breathing would normal out and then once she would slip back into slumber, it would deepen again, her head beginning to roll once more, until the whole process was repeated—over and over again.

There had been no roll away cots available that evening and the brunette had sworn up and down that she was fine. That this was how she had to sleep many nights in the academy or in a police car and that it was no problem.

Alex watched Olivia's brow furrow then, her head tilting backward, mouth open and then catching it before it snapped back, her mouth moving now to try and rewet her tongue.

The blonde smiled and shook her head, mesmerized, just admiring her. She could watch Olivia all day, all night, if it were a requirement. She had no problem whatsoever just studying the beauty that was her wife.

Alex thought of how the brunette must have been feeling while she was gone, how she must have been a wreck before they found her, still trying to carry on and live life and take care of three small children. She thought of her own experiences when Olivia had been taken by William Lewis and how hopeless she felt and how full of despair she had been and how the thought of living the remainder of her life without ever getting to see her soulmate ever again was debilitating and crushing, to say the least.

She thought about how she thought she would die in that apartment. She thought of how it would feel to have her organs begin to shut down one by one and what it would feel like to slowly die.

She thought about dying without ever being able to tell the kids she loved them and that she knew they would be amazing people when they grew up and to follow their dreams and never quit. She thought of never being able to look into her wife's eyes again and tell her she loved her and make love to her one last time.

She thought of her parents and how her death would kill them, and how a parent should never have to outlive any of their children.

She thought of how precious life is and how those twenty-six hours that weren't her own, the hours that she didn't really belong to herself, the time that was taken from her in that period that she suffered, was going to make her stronger, more aware, more appreciative of every little thing around her.

She thought of how she would never take anything for granted ever again.

How she would love her wife with everything she had and never let a moment go by without Olivia knowing that she was her soulmate, the absolute only one for her, her reason for being. Her reason for existing. The reason for her happiness.

And then, as if by mental telepathy, Olivia's head became upright and she yawned, reaching her arms into the air and stretching, eyes closed tightly. She opened those deep brown, sleepy eyes and her focus went to her.

And Alex only smiled at her, feeling such extreme happiness, that she felt her eyes well with tears.

"Babe?" Olivia's concerned face then. She pushed the blanket off of her and left it on the chair as she stood and moved up to the bed. "What is it, Al? Are you in pain?" She blinked a few times, trying to wake herself up, her eyes sleepy.

Alex said nothing. She only shook her head and then inched her way to the edge of the bed, away from her wife on her back, her IV having been taken out hours ago, her fluids restored, and lifted the sheet and blanket and set them aside.

Olivia smiled then, blinking slowly. The brunette then toed off her boots and then sat on the edge before lifting her feet off of the floor and hiking them onto the bed. She turned and faced the blonde before slipping her legs beneath the covers. Olivia reached up and cupped her wife's face and only looked at her, smiling.

Alex felt a tear roll down her cheek. "This is gonna be hard, isn't it?" She raised her eyebrows.

Olivia studied her then, those warm, chocolate soulful eyes looking back and forth between her own. She then nodded slowly and took a deep breath, her own expression solemn. "Yeah, Al…" she whispered. "I won't lie to you…there will be some rough times, Babe."

Alex nodded, letting her eyes roam over the gorgeous, fatigued face in front of her. "And you'll be with me?" Alex questioned softly.

Olivia swallowed then, her lower lip trembling. "Every single step of the way, Alex."

Alex smiled and nodded, beginning to cry even harder. "Stay with me…here…tonight…"

And no more words were said. Olivia smiled and Alex turned over, placing her back to her wife and inching backward until she could feel her warmth, her body against her own. The brunette wrapped her arm around her and held her tightly. And Alex could feel her warm, gentle breathing against her ear.

This was going to be a challenging ride for both of them. Alex knew the ins and outs and ups and downs of cases like hers. But she knew that she would get through it with the love of everyone around her.

She felt her wife take a deep breath and let it out slowly behind her, tightening her hold on her midsection.

And, at that moment, as the serenity passed through her, that was all she needed.

* * *

Thank you for taking the time to read and review. It truly makes a difference.


	10. Chapter 10

10

Alex carefully stood from the wheelchair, forearms shaking, as she pushed herself up, Olivia's hand guiding her on her lower back. Although most of her strength had come back through rehydration and rest, she still felt unsteady and the dull ache along her spine and shoulder blades and just below her ribcage was still present due to additional time being flat on her back and not moving much.

The hospital staff and her wife had gotten her up several times in the short duration she was in the hospital under their care and had advised her to take it easy, yet be as active as possible and would need to make it a point to regain her mobility once more.

Although twenty-six hours, plus the time in the hospital, adding another eighteen hours to it, was not a significant slice in the pie of life, it was a period that would need to be made up for, nurtured, and nursed back to everyday, normal health.

Olivia pulled on the handle of the Range Rover, Jonathan having brought it to the hospital to pick his sister and sister-in-law up, and carefully pulled the door open.

Alex looked at her wife then, looked at those strong, dark, feminine features, those almond-shaped eyes, the sleeplessness beneath them, that mouth that was pursed in an empathetic smile, that lumpy ponytail that told of an unrestful night's sleep, and she felt her emotions come on quickly.

"Alex?" Olivia's cocoa expression was concerned.

Alex shook her head. "I'm OK, Liv…just…thank you…"

Olivia smiled and laughed lightly through her nose and then her expression became serious. "I will _always_ be here with you, _for_ you, Al. However you need me, Babe." Olivia swallowed and nodded slowly, her eyes dipping to the blonde's mouth before moving back up and into her eyes. "You know that, right?"

Alex nodded. "I do…" she said softly.

"Are you ready to go home, my love?" Olivia cupped Alex's cheek with her left hand.

" _Please_ …take me there," Alex smiled.

"Your chariot awaits, Babe…"

Olivia helped Alex into the front passenger seat and then closed the door gently before moving into the back seat directly behind her.

Alex turned and looked at her brother in the driver's seat who was uncharacteristically quiet, the dirty blonde curls on top of his head were damp and he had his mirrored aviators on.

"Hey, Allie," he offered, smiling. "How are you feeling today?"

Alex nodded quickly, realizing that the day before she hadn't had actual physical contact with her brother, hadn't really spoken to him, only wanted reassurance from the children and from her wife. She leaned over to him and the two hugged tightly.

"You're gonna be OK, Allie Al. I know you will." He rubbed her back. "With Olivia and the kids and our family…" he pulled away, "…you're gonna heal even faster." A tear rolled down his cheek then—his accessorial cover being blown—and he smiled. "Right?"

"Yeah," Alex whispered. "That's all I need."

Alex felt a hand on her left shoulder then and she turned to look at her wife in the back. The brunette detective looked so exhausted, yet so incredibly beautiful, and she knew that all either of them wanted to do was take a long shower and relax for the rest of the day and be together once again.

"Home?" Jonathan questioned.

Alex swallowed and nodded. "Home."

* * *

Alex watched their house come into view on the right, noting the beautiful pinkish-brown brick, the high windows on all three floors, the rain-beaded wrought-iron table and chairs on the patio, the water-slicked pavement and cobblestone.

She furrowed her brow as they stopped in front of the gate and she watched her brother put the car in _park_. "Why aren't we going around the back?" She looked at her brother. "Jonathan? Go around back to the garage door."

Jonathan looked into the back seat then, his expression hesitant.

"We can go in through the back, Babe," Olivia offered. "We just thought—"

"Please go around back, John-John…" Alex felt the lump in her throat, her eyes tearing, her lips trembling now, not knowing exactly where this prickly sensation that was running along her shoulders and neck was coming from, this tightness in her chest.

Jonathan glanced at Olivia again and then back through the windshield, shifted into _drive_ , and then pulled up to the stop sign and put his right signal on.

Alex couldn't explain why she felt the strong desire for it to happen like this, but she wanted to enter through the door that she always entered. She didn't want to come in through the front door because this was _her_ house, this was where _she_ lived, and she didn't want to approach as someone who hadn't lived there for eight years—a guest in her own home.

The Rover rounded the last corner and then pulled into the driveway and Alex watched as the large, heavy door began to lift slowly and she felt the giddiness rise inside of her. She was so glad to be home. So happy to be somewhere familiar, somewhere filled with love, somewhere safe.

Olivia's Datsun on the left, the shelving unit just ahead holding various holiday boxes and paint cans and a red toolbox, the door leading to the kitchen slightly to the right but still in the middle.

They eased into the space and then the car was turned off.

"Jonathan…why don't you go ahead inside," Olivia suggested. "Get the kids ready and let them know we're here."

Jonathan looked into the rearview and smiled. "You got it, Olivia."

And within seconds, he was out of the car and had disappeared inside the house, closing the door behind him.

Alex felt her wife then, immediately to her left, hand on her left shoulder.

"Hey…" Olivia's voice was low, gentle.

Alex closed her eyes, feeling the tears form, feeling extreme emotion coming on, feeling her heart begin to race slightly. She pursed her lips, attempting not to cry, but it was useless.

"Alex? Talk to me, Babe. What's going on? Tell me, Al."

She felt Olivia's hand move upward and to the back of her neck, beginning to stroke the skin just below her hairline with her thumb, her pad gently gliding along the skin there as she looked at her empathetically.

And Alex closed her eyes and just took it in—the love, the tender touch, the comfort.

"I wish…I wish I could just lie down with you…anywhere…and just have you do that to me all day, Liv. I just…I feel so safe when you're with me, when you do that, when you talk to me, just being with you…"

Shifting then—jeans low-moaning on leather, her wife's weight on the edge of the back seat—and Alex opened her eyes, looking at the brunette directly to her left.

"I _want_ you to be able to talk to me like this…tell me _exactly_ what you're feeling, what you _need_. If you need space. If you need love. If you need me to make a decision that you're not up to or ready for. _Anything_ you're feeling, Babe, I want to know."

And, at that moment, a certain peace swept throughout her, Olivia having the innate ability to calm her once again and she smiled.

"I _will_ need you, Liv. I'm not going to pretend I'm too strong to need anything or anyone. I _will_ use you as a support, my love. And I _will_ come to you, Babe."

Olivia smiled and nodded. "And you don't know how happy that makes me, Al." Olivia leaned in closer and kissed her wife's forehead.

Alex closed her eyes at the delicateness, the tenderness in that one action, and she smiled.

The garage door leading to the kitchen opened and the ladies looked in that direction.

Olivia looked back at her, raising her eyebrows. "Ready?"

Alex nodded.

They exited the car and Olivia came up behind her and guided her towards the light.

The silhouette of Jonathan was standing there, all three kids in front of him.

And Alex took a small breath as her wife guided her inside, the kids greeted her without restraint, and she felt the love of her family all over again.

* * *

Olivia watched the kids on the sofa—all subdued and waiting for pizza and snuggle time—and then eyed the fifty-inch TV from the kitchen, a cooking show on with the main ingredient being chicken thighs on, the chef brushing them with some sort of apricot glaze. She continued dunking a tea bag into two steaming hot mugs with each of her hands.

They had come in the door, had been greeted by the kids—Casey having quietly slipped out and taken Kimberly and Katie through the front door—as Jonathan entered from the garage. Alex had immediately gone upstairs to take a shower, the brunette offering to help, to be of support, and her wife declining.

And as she continued to steep the tea, she thought about this entire situation and the snail-like pace it was taking. Normally, they were waist-deep into a case at this point. But with the victim being a family member, her wife, it always seemed that those circumstances yielded a different process than her usual solving of a case.

But Olivia had her doubts about their degree of sensitivity on the entire matter.

She narrowed her eyes as she brought the cups to the counter next to the sink and then removed the bags and set them in the basin before returning the mugs to the island.

She folded her arms and pressed the front of her hips to the wooden surface, eyes glazing over at the screen in the living room, and continued to mull her wife's experiences over in her mind.

Their precautions at not upsetting the blonde were helpful and admirable, but Olivia couldn't help but to feel they were being overly meticulous and, in the long run, it might prove to be a stagnation in the process of the case.

Alex had to talk about what happened to her sooner or later, and the fact that Olivia wanted to go into work later that evening and help her squad in any way that she could, caused the pressure inside the brunette to press her wife for answers even more of a challenge. At the rate Alex was going as far as divulging information went, Olivia knew the process would be set back further if her wife didn't begin to open up.

But, as Olivia had told her, she wanted to be there to listen, to comfort, and when Alex was ready, she would be there all the way.

Alex entered from the hallway now, hair damp and down, parted in the middle, one of the numerous pairs of back-up glasses that she kept in various locations in the house on, while the others were still in evidence and would continue to be. Her tall leggy wife looked comfortable in a pair of black sweat pants and a dark gray T-shirt, her feet bare.

And God did she look simplistically beautiful.

Olivia smiled then and unfolded her arms, moving to slide her wife's mug toward her.

"Earl Grey?" Alex questioned.

Olivia shook her head. "Rooibos."

Alex nodded and smiled and took her mug, holding it up. "To you being my hero and rescuing me, Babe."

Olivia mirrored the action. "To you being home safe." Olivia's voice caught. "I love you, Alex."

Alex took a small sip and the brunette did, as well. The blonde set her mug down and moved closer to her wife, slithering her hands around her waist. Olivia set her mug down and then allowed her wife to wrap her arms around her as she did the same. The embrace was slow, both holding on tightly, chins on shoulders, the blonde trembling in her arms.

Olivia closed her eyes and turned her face and let her wife's freshly-washed locks brush against her nose, inhaling her shampoo, her soap. She took a deep breath and then let it out slowly, just relishing in their hold, her hands gently moving along her wife's back, feeling her, touching her, receiving the satisfaction of having her in her presence, in her arms.

"When is the pizza getting here?" Theo questioned from the sofa.

Olivia smiled and clutched her wife tighter. "Any minute now, my boy." Olivia looked her wife's face over, the smooth creaminess, those full lips, her skin flawless. She cocked her head to the side. "Looks like our little natives are hungry."

"Can you blame them?" Alex pulled away, holding her wife's hips. "With cooking shows on all the time?" Alex raised her eyebrows, smirking. "Gotta get off _Food Network_ , Babe."

Olivia fluttered her eyelashes facetiously. "I have no idea what you mean."

Alex pulled her body close once again and held her. "I know you need to know soon, Liv. That I need to make a statement."

Olivia felt her expression even out then and she nodded against her wife. "Yeah, Al. You know the process."

"And…" Alex pulled away and looked at her, those blue eyes so clear, so bright now that she was back at home, "…I know it won't be easy to say, much less hear, but I know we do need to talk so Fin and the others can get started on this."

Olivia nodded again and then reached out and moved a long lock from the front of her wife's shoulder to the back.

"So…around four? We can have the kids go up to their rooms and have their _resting_ time…"

Olivia smiled. "Heaven forbid you should call it _nap_ time, right?"

Alex smiled. "Our grown up babies are not fond of that word, are they?"

Olivia shook her head, feeling her eyes begin to water.

Alex offered, "Maybe we can think of something fun for them to do."

"Maybe," Olivia said softly.

And Olivia couldn't help but feel emotion overwhelm her at that moment. Her wife standing in front of her, in her arms, the two of them talking as they always have—as mothers, as best friends, as confidants—seemed to overcome the brunette at that very moment. And even though her wife was not gone long, she had missed her, had miss this interaction, terribly.

"Don't, Liv," Alex said softly. "Please, Babe…" Alex's voice was shaky. "I'm here. I'm home. I'm so happy it's over."

"But it's not, Alex."

"I know…" Alex nodded, her own eyes filling with tears, "…but I'm out of there. The kids are safe…I'm safe…" Alex's eyes glazed over then.

And Olivia could tell that the images, the scenes her wife had gone through, were playing out inside of her head. From experience, the brunette knew that would continue to happen, well beyond any therapy or prosecution or imprisonment.

Olivia took her wife's face gently into her hands and smiled meekly. "Four o'clock?"

Alex swallowed and nodded. "Four o'clock."

Then, Olivia not able to help herself, needing the closeness, the touch, the feel of her wife even closer, pressed her mouth gently to Alex's, feeling the softness, the plushness, the blonde's warm breath on her face, the scent that was Alex invading her senses.

Olivia let out a small whimper, a tiny moan, at the sensation, just luxuriating in the contentment of the moment.

She was ready to listen to Alex tell her the details of what happened to her. And whatever the blonde needed from her, as far as support or space went, she was ready to give it to her.

* * *

The look on Olivia's face was unbearable. They had eaten lunch, spent some time cuddling with the kids on the sofa and then had sent them upstairs with a list of various chores and things to do, the three happily going up to compete for a small prize the ladies had planned.

And now, at five-thirty, Alex and Olivia were at the kitchen table, and had been for over an hour, the blonde spilling every detail of what had happened to her in that time.

Now, the brunette's elbow was resting on the kitchen table, her fingers over her mouth, brown knitted, eyes filled with tears—both shed and unshed—and her brunette wife was without words.

Alex continued, "And…he was about to…uh…he had gotten my ankles separated…and…um…" Alex sniffed then, watching her wife struggle. "Liv…?"

"Keep going, Baby." Olivia's voice was soft, hoarse.

"He was going to…" Alex's lower lip trembled, "…he had himself close to my face and was about to unzip and I was going to…but I _wasn't_ …I just had the plan to knee him in the balls. I prayed someone would come in and stop it…rescue me…"

"And they did…" Olivia whispered.

Alex nodded. "It was almost perfect timing, Liv…thank God…or else…Raul told me outright…he only wanted me to suffer like he did." Alex felt her own tears begin to fall in torrents now, her whole body shaking with emotion, with experiencing what happened to her through the detailed storytelling, now feeling relief that it was over and she was back home and was safe.

Olivia stood then and moved up to her, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands and resting both pairs on Alex's knees. Olivia shook her head, her mouth opening and closing with what to say.

Alex reached down for her wife's elbows and cupped them and then stood, guiding Olivia to do the same.

And they held each other again and, this time, Alex felt her wife vibrating under her hold. Whether it was from sadness, anger, relief or all of the above, the brunette was trembling in her arms now.

"I just wanna move on, Liv. I just want to be grateful in the fact that I'm OK, the kids are safe, I'm safe, and that it's over."

Olivia slid her hand upward then and placed her palm in between her wife's shoulder blades. "I know, Al. but you can't just push it aside and pretend it didn't happen. In all of our years of experience doing what we do…we both know that doesn't help anything. It just makes it worse."

Alex nodded against her shoulder. "I know…" she admitted softly.

Olivia continued to hold her wife, swaying gently, wishing to say something to her about her lack of appetite.

She knew that when Alex was stressed or going through something difficult in her life, her desire for food just wasn't there. It had always been that way with the blonde, ever since they met and had become friends so long ago. But the brunette had noticed that she hadn't eaten but maybe a tiny bite of pizza at lunch and this worried her. Add the fact that she had only eaten a few calories in the past forty-eight hours, and Olivia was more than concerned.

"Babe…aren't you hungry?"

Alex shook her head against her. "No, Liv. My stomach is still kinda…"

"Are you nauseated?"

"A little."

"You need to eat something, Al." Olivia pulled away now and placed her hands on her wife's hips, "Take some Tums or Pepto and then _try_ to eat something. Even if it's just some soup." She smiled and cupped her cheek. "OK?"

Alex nodded quickly. "I'll try."

Just then, Olivia's cell phone vibrated on the kitchen island and both looked at it, watching as it skittered closer to the edge of the surface.

Olivia quickly moved to grab it and turned it over, seeing that it was Fin. She smiled at Alex and then answered. "Hey, Fin. What's up?"

"Alex talk yet?"

"Yeah, Fin. We just talked. She told me everything."

"That's good because, if we lucky, these three got arraignment tomorrow. But none of them has spilled. None've asked for a lawyer yet…I don't take them as the brightest bulbs on the tree…but maybe—"

"I want to talk to them," Olivia interrupted.

"O-OK. But it's gotta be soon, Liv."

"Now." Olivia looked at Alex then, feeling her own determination take over her being. "I'll come now."

"OK, Liv. We got 'em in separate rooms. They all backing up each other."

"I'll make 'em talk." Olivia's eyes glazed over as she looked at her wife. "I have to at least try."

Olivia watched as Alex nodded slowly in agreement.

"All right, Liv. See you soon?"

"Give me thirty." Olivia ended the call and placed it back on the island.

"You gonna go in?" Alex folded her arms and took in a deep breath and let it out, those cerulean eyes focused on her intently.

"Yeah, Babe. I have to…I want to get to these bastards."

Alex swallowed then. "I know you do, Babe."

Olivia nodded. "Your parents should be here in less than an hour. You gonna be OK?"

Alex smiled. "I'll be fine, Liv." She stepped closer and placed her hands on the brunette's jaw. "Go do this, Liv. Go do what you need to do to make these scumbags pay, my love."

Olivia smiled back and nodded, watching as her wife's face came in closer. And she closed her eyes and relished the softness of the blonde's lips on hers—delicately, lovingly, thoughtfully.

She pulled away and Olivia opened her eyes. "I will, Alex. Mess with my wife…I'll mess with you."

"Go get 'em, Liv."

Olivia winked and then headed down the hallway and upstairs to shower and change, ready to interrogate the sons of bitches who had caused this deep chasm in their lives.

And there was nothing that could, or would, stop her.

* * *

 **A/N: I apologize that this one took so long to update. I hope you enjoyed it and will try and update more often. Please let me hear from you. It always means so much.**

 **Do we really think Alex is OK? Little hints should tell you that she's not...stay tuned...**


	11. Chapter 11

11

It was 6:15 p.m. as Olivia sat at a standstill in rush hour traffic, her mind spinning with the details of what her wife had just divulged to her. She sat, left hand over her mouth, elbow resting on the car door elbow rest, freshly showered and wearing a cream silk blouse and olive green jeans, brown boots on, staring ahead at the car in front of her, thinking.

 _He had hit her. Not just once, but twice. Once to the back of the head and once in the face when he saw she was putting up a fight. Starved of food and water. Treated like a dog. Worse than a dog. Threats of just allowing her to die. Alex's mind going to the worse possible scenario—death._

Traffic began crawling now, Olivia finally moving, the precinct only a couple of blocks away.

 _The humiliation of urinating on herself—helpless, but strong. Her wife was so strong to have endured that degradation. So strong to go through the repeated stories of how she would be left to die. So strong to try and fight for her life when she had the chance. And Olivia admired her even more for that._

 _But, her wife being in pain. That was the part of all of this that hurt the brunette the most._

 _Olivia was already extremely familiar with her wife's back and neck troubles, had witnessed Alex stressed and in pain more than once, and knew that it could be debilitating for her, and had been on numerous occasions. But in those instances, she had the luxury of going to her chiropractor or getting a massage or moving around and taking an Advil or two._

 _But not for the time she was there._

She felt her hands begin to shake with rage then, sweat begin to dot her upper lip, her face growing hotter as she felt her eyes fill with tears and she pulled into the parking lot and put her car in _park_. She removed her sunglasses and then lifted her chin to look at herself in the rearview, wiping beneath her eyes, not realizing there was so much emotion that had spilled from her just thinking of Alex's ordeal.

She wanted to go in there without emotion—confident, yet calm—and get at least one of them to confess. But, at the same time, she wanted to get at one of them. Hurt them in some way. Make them suffer in some manner, as well.

They had taken her wife. They had made her suffer emotionally and physically.

And she just couldn't fight the desire to rip their throats out.

She took a deep breath then and closed her eyes, letting it out slowly, and then took another one, trying to calm her heart rate that had suddenly begun to flutter with impending adrenaline.

She had to remain professional on this and couldn't risk anything going wrong. She needed to control her personal emotions and do what she needed to do and get a confession from one of them. Although the evidence was there, the photos taken just as the EMTs had gone in—along with the very telling photos and evidence from the crime scene, for this to go smoothly, her professionalism needed to remain intact.

She steeled herself, clenching her jaw, and opened her car door. With her badge and gun already on, keys in her hand, she walked with intentional confidence toward the doors of the 1-6.

* * *

"Arraignment is tomorrow morning. They got a public defender." Fin's voice came into her space as soon as she entered her office.

Olivia opened her desk drawer and threw her car keys inside and shut it firmly. "And they're still pleading not guilty?"

"Yeah, Liv. Armando and Pedro are now saying it was all Raul's fault, that he made them do it, and Raul's saying he didn't do anything wrong. That it was all just a prank and he was going to eventually let her go."

Olivia laughed lightly, her eyes narrowing. "A prank?" She shook her head. "Jesus. That's rich." She adjusted her badge and gun once more and then moved to go around Fin, but felt his hand lightly take hold of her elbow.

"Liv…"

Olivia looked down at his hold and he let go and backed off. She looked him in the eyes. "I know what you're gonna say."

"Good. Then you know I don't have to tell you to keep calm or else all of this could blow up in our faces and their attorney will get them off on kidnapping, at best."

A police officer came up to them then, holding a yellow envelope. "These just came. Crime scene photos." He handed it to Olivia.

She looked up at Fin and then took a deep breath.

"Want me to look at them fir—?"

"No…" she interrupted.

Olivia carefully unclasped the envelope and lifted the flap, reached her thumb and fingers inside and pulled out the 8X10" stack of photos—all in color, all with number plates marking the pieces of evidence, all crystal clear in detail.

The first one took her by surprise and she lightly gasped. It was of Alex, the moment they had come in and had cuffed Raul and Pedro, when she was still on the bed—a shot taken to prove that she had been there, that this was a crime against her, that nothing was being fabricated.

She looked like she was ten years old, so helpless, so desperate, so frightened. And Olivia felt the extreme rage begin a slow simmer in the bottom of her stomach, just beginning to rise.

She began leafing through them, placing one behind the other as she studied them—each one only briefly. The soaked bed, the magnified cut rope restraints that were coated with dark brown blood, the indentation in the cot where her wife had been starved of food and water, the kitchen with numerous liquor and beer bottles all around, ashtrays full of butts, the dark dankness of it all.

She felt that low simmer begin to bubble now as her eyes filled with tears. But she couldn't do this right now. Couldn't get emotional. She had a job to do and, although the evidence was as clear as day, she wanted, _needed_ to get a confession out of one or all of them.

"You OK?" Fin questioned after the photo flipping came to an end.

"In some ways, Fin." Olivia smiled.

Fin nodded. "I gotcha, Liv." He raised his eyebrows. "You ready?"

"Absolutely. Let's do this. I'll take Pedro first."

"You sure?" Fin asked.

"Without a doubt, Fin."

* * *

Olivia moved to open the door to interrogation room three and turned the knob, Carisi and Pedro's eyes going straight to her as she entered.

"You're in for it now, Pedro," Carisi informed him before he looked at Olivia. "He's all yours, Detective."

Olivia let her eyes remain on Pedro as Carisi left the room and closed the door behind him. She slowly walked around the back of Pedro, noting the thick bulge of fat below the hairline of his closely-cropped head, the plethora of sweat beading his skin, the darkness of the moisture-soaked clothing he was wearing. And if she didn't know any better, she wouldn't doubt if he had peed his pants, as well.

" _He groped me…had his hand on my breast and he pressed himself into me…"_

Alex's voice echoed in her head then and she felt that low boil begin to bubble as she moved around to his right side and just looked at him, nodding.

His expression was priceless—fear, disbelief, and guilt, all rolled into one wet, slimy, dripping face. And he was actually shaking.

She placed her hands on the table then, still on his right, and leaned in close. "That was my wife," she sneered.

"Aw, shit," he uttered, closing his eyes tightly before opening them and looking back at her.

"Aw _shit_?" Olivia narrowed her eyes. "Is that all you have to say? Aw, _shit_?"

Pedro swallowed hard. "It was all Raul. I swear. He's the one who set this whole thing up. I-I-didn't…"

Olivia moved in closer. "You didn't have your hand on her breast? You weren't on top of her with your erection—at least what there _was_ of it—pressed to her, threatening her? You didn't keep taunting her by saying you were gonna 'do that bitch'?" She felt her hands begin to quaver on the table then and she swallowed, reminding herself that she needed to remain calm.

"That was just—I—she was so beautiful…then…she wanted it, lady. She was tempting me and I got condoms and…and…she said she was ready. She said she _wanted_ it."

"Are you fucking dense, Pedro?" she bellowed, moving in closer, her face only a couple of inches away from his. "She was _ready_? What the hell part of you thought she was ready after being chained to that bed, no food, no water, weak…sitting in her own urine…and she was _ready_?" Olivia backed away then and folded her arms. "You really are a village idiot aren't you?"

"I—I swear…I—"

Olivia moved quickly and got in his face again. "You were going to _rape_ her. Raul told you not to and you were going to anyway. That was your plan the whole time. Wasn't it, Pedro?"

He studied Olivia, his eyes morose. "Yes. That was my plan." Pedro's face contorted then and he began sobbing. "I'm in trouble, aren't I?"

"A boatload, Pedro. And the beauty is…along with accomplice in an abduction…we can add sexual assault to your rap sheet."

Pedro hung his head then, letting his fear out as he shook and wailed like a baby.

Olivia stepped away, watching him closely as she moved to the door. "Arraignment is tomorrow morning. And I _will_ watch you and your homies fry for this. Just so you know." She placed her hand on the knob and turned, opening it and eyeing him again, looking down and noticing a puddle of pale yellow on the floor next to his foot.

And she smiled to herself.

One down. Two to go.

* * *

Alex took a deep breath and moved to the front door of the townhouse, seeing a blur of white and yellow on the left and tan and white on the right. She felt her lower lip begin to vibrate then and her nose begin to run as she unlocked the top lock and then closed her eyes and placed her hand on the door handle. She depressed the thumb lever and then pulled it toward her, her eyes going to her mother and then her father.

Cathy Cabot let go of the handle of her small, rolling suitcase and came in closer to her daughter, crossing the threshold, and held her face in her hands, looking up at her with tears in her eyes. "My beautiful daughter, she whispered. "My Alex…"

Cathy moved even closer then and the two embraced tightly, Alex falling into the comfort of her mother's touch, feeling her tremble beneath her, her own body doing the same.

She looked at her father over her mother's shoulder and noted those piercingly blue eyes were watering profusely as he smiled at her.

"Pumpkin," he offered, his voice shaky.

Alex and her mother ended the hug and she stepped to her father and the two embraced, as well.

"We're so glad you're OK, Princess. Your mom and I…" his voice caught again.

Alex could feel the emotion in that simple hug and she began to cry even harder. "I'm OK now, Daddy. I'm home. I'm safe. The kids are fine."

"Grandpa! Grandma!" Theo's voice then, coming down the stairs, more footsteps following him.

Alex pulled away from her father and then the two grandparents were greeted by squeaky voices and hugs and kisses, the three Benson-Cabot kids so happy to see them.

Alex only smiled, arms folded, watching the love they had for their grandparents.

"Alex, Dear…?" Cathy questioned, holding on to Theo and Grace, Isabel with her grandfather.

Alex looked at her mother and smiled. "I'm just so glad you're here." She nodded. "That's all." She reached out and tousled Theo's hair lightly, smiling down at her son. "Why don't you two go upstairs and get unpacked and settled and refreshed and then come back down and we can talk." She looked at them now. "OK?"

Cathy tried a smile. "That sounds good, Dear. And I'll whip us up something for dinner when the time comes. OK?"

"Sounds good, Mom."

"And Olivia? Is she out getting these people and putting them in jail?"

Alex smiled. "Yes, Mom. She's at work. She'll probably be late."

"Well, no worries, Alex. Anything you need…your father and I are here." She looked at her husband. "Right, Billy?"

"That's right, Cath…" He smiled down at her. "Anything our pumpkin or her little pumpkin sprouts need." He tickled Isabel under her chin, their girl giggling wildly.

And Alex knew that her parents being there was a good decision. They would give her the familiarity, the comfort, and the love she craved—along with her wife and children.

And that was what she needed.

* * *

Alex pulled her terrycloth robe on, having just finished a long soak in Epsom salts and lavender oil, and secured the ties. She was hoping to reduce some of the pain she was still feeling in her back and neck, but the warm liquid hadn't done anything to alleviate the sharp, shooting discomfort that seemed to be never-yielding.

She sat on her side of the bed and opened her night stand drawer and pulled out a bottle of prescription Tylenol #3 with codeine that had been given to her as she was discharged from the hospital.

She eyed the alarm clock next to her side and saw that it was almost eight o'clock. They had already had a dinner of oven baked fried chicken and green beans and mashed potatoes, and her parents were watching the kids downstairs and had told her to take all the time she needed and to do what she needed to do.

She was a little hesitant to take a pain pill but knew that it would help her immensely—not only with the ache she was feeling, but also with the sleep that she would soon attempt to take.

So she unscrewed the lid and emptied one into her palm. She would take one and then bathe the kids and read them a story and by the time all of those tasks had been completed it would kick in and she would just retire for the evening.

She reached for her bottle of water and then tossed the cylindrical medication into her mouth and then took a long swig of water, closing her eyes as it made its way down.

She would feel better soon and she would be tired enough to sleep. And hopefully her wife wouldn't be home too late and she would get to be with her in bed beside her and feel her warmth.

She placed the bottle on the bed side table and then let her hands go limp in her lap, her gaze moving to the windows. It was already dark outside and she knew, just like the night prior, the images would soon come and haunt her, showing themselves when she least expected them and tormenting her into remembering the most harrowing ordeal of her entire life.

She felt her eyes well with tears then, her lower lip tremble, and she thought of how much she wished for Olivia in times like these. How she wished she didn't feel so dependent on her love and security to get her through. How she wished she could be a strong enough person on her own to buck up and put on a happy face and just get through this.

But there was no doubt. When someone was your soulmate, the person you were meant to be with for all of eternity, those emotions would never just go away. She wiped beneath her eyes and took a deep breath and stood, knowing what she needed to do as a mother and looking forward to the time she would be pressed to her wife, feeling her presence and the serenity that it brought to her in a time like this.

* * *

Two down. One more to go.

Armando hadn't folded. Hadn't snitched on his brother and Olivia didn't expect him to.

After all, what bond was stronger than your own flesh and blood? Armando had thrown Pedro under the bus, though, several times in her interrogation. Claiming the "dumb ass" only wanted to get laid because he never got any otherwise.

Armando did, however, mention the fact that he knew of Alexandra Cabot and what happened to their father—even though Armando was only eight years old—and that he was all for helping his brother take the bitch and show her a lesson.

So now, Olivia only had one more person she wished to interrogate. The ring leader of this entire nightmare. The one that would have her wife feeling the effects of what had happened to her, what he had put her through, for months, even years, to come.

She entered Interrogation Room #1 and closed the door behind her, not looking at Raul who was sitting at the table, waiting for her, hands folded, knees spread, unfazed. She had watched him through the one-way glass for a while, studying him, his actions, his demeanor, just trying to get a vibe for his disposition before she actually went in.

She stood against the wall opposite him, next to the viewing window, and folded her arms. She knew that she was slightly concealed by the wall to the other detectives on the other side. But she also knew that all eyes were on her at this point—Carisi, Fin, and Rollins—all in on the witnessing what could and would happen.

"Who the fuck are you?" Raul questioned calmly, a hint of steely anger in his voice.

 _Keep calm,_ Olivia reminded herself. _Don't fuck this up._

She pushed her back off of the wall then and then moved toward him, still not looking at him. She casually began placing the eight by ten photos on the table in front of him, lining them up in groups of five, making three rows.

"Why are you showing me these?" he asked.

Olivia still remained quiet as she began to walk around the room, slowly, arms folded again, feeling her heart rate begin to increase, the slow, rolling boil beginning to reach the surface.

"Why the fuck are these here, bitch?"

Olivia smiled then and laughed lightly through her nose. "Finally…you do know who I am. I'm _that_ bitch."

"What the…? What the hell, lady?"

Olivia moved in then, her adrenaline flowing throughout her body faster than she could control. She slammed her hands on the metal surface next to the lean man in the white tank and jeans and then finally looked at him.

His smirk was spread across his face now as his dark eyes looked into her own. "Oh, you're that detective bitch from when I was thirteen."

"That's me…" she smiled facetiously and raised her eyebrows. She moved in closer. "And you took the _wrong_ bitch, Raul. You took the bitch that _isn't_ gonna get you locked up for a long time."

"I ain't do nothin'." He closed his eyes and turned his head away from her.

Olivia slammed her fist on the table then and hooked her left foot around the right front leg of his chair and forcefully turned it to face her, the metal-on-concrete screeching sound echoing throughout the small space.

The door opened. "Detective? You need help?" Fin asked.

"Not now, Fin." Olivia's death glare was on Raul.

"You need a break?" he asked.

"She finally peeled her eyes away from Raul. "I said I'm fine, Detective."

Fin only nodded and closed the door again.

She returned her eyes to Raul.

He smirked. "I think you need a break. Detective. What are you like forty-five…fifty?"

Olivia smirked back. "And I could twist your neck so hard you'd take your last breath right here and now."

"Oh, yeah?" He looked her over then, his eyes roaming her upper torso, her lower body, and then back to her face. "Do it, then."

She smiled at him and then stood erect, folding her arms and beginning to walk around again.

"Get these pictures outta here…" he requested casually. "I don't need to see these."

"No, that's right, Raul. Because you lived it. That's _your_ apartment, where you held _my_ wife hostage, where you were going to let _your_ friend Pedro rape her, and then let her _die_." She stopped pacing then and faced him. "You don't need to see them because you were there and it was all your idea."

"Please…" he mocked, looking away from her again.

"Please, what?" She moved to the opposite side of the table then and then lifted it and slammed it back down. "Please _what,_ Raul?"

"Please…you're wasting my time."

"Wasting your time? Such a busy drug lord? Too busy being a loser? No future. No prospects except living in that shitty apartment the rest of your life. Depending on your grandma to bring you food? Fucking your brother's girl? Beating her?"

Raul's face showed increasing anger then, jaw clenched, eyes narrowed, fists balled as they rested on the aluminum surface.

"What's the matter, Raul? Did I hit a nerve? You see…" Olivia moved to his left again, "…men like you, the ones with big egos and God complexes, thinking they should be owed everything and given everything in life…they're usually the ones with the…" she watched his face begin to burn with rage and then she glanced down at his lap and then back up, "… _small_ penises."

He lunged at her like lightning then, wrapping his cuffed hands around her neck, Olivia bracing her own on his as he began to plow her backward. "I should've taken you, too, and let both you bitches die!" he bellowed.

Olivia's back hit the wall with with force, her head bouncing off, then and Carisi, Fin, and two police officers burst in the door and immediately got Raul off of her, Olivia stopping to catch her breath as she held her hand to her neck.

The officers cuffed him and began to escort him out, the young man fighting them the entire way.

"You'll get yours, bitch!" he shouted just as he exited the room.

"You OK, Liv?" Fin asked.

Olivia nodded and swallowed, looking at the older detective. "Is that enough of a confession?"

Fin smiled. "It was for _me_ , Detective."

Olivia smiled then, letting a breath out. But that brief happiness was short-lived. She felt her throat constrict, her eyes begin to well with tears, and her heart begin to break for her wife once more. After being in the same room with all three scumbags, she saw a small sliver of the men that tortured her and treated her so badly for the time she was held hostage, and all she wanted to do was head home and be there for her.

"It's eleven o'clock. Go home, Liv. Arraignment is at ten tomorrow. Go home and be witcha family."

Olivia nodded and looked into her partner's warm, brown eyes. "I will, Fin. Thanks," she said softly.

She headed to her office to grab her keys, get back on the streets of Manhattan, and head home to her wife and just be with her in any way that she could.

* * *

Olivia slid her jeans down her legs and then stepped out of them and walked to the hamper and tossed them in, watching her wife as she lay in bed, the moonlight casting stripes of light onto her sleeping form. She was on her left side, facing her.

The brunette slipped her blouse over her head, her eyes going directly back to her wife again. Alex's hands were twitching again, her head moving, face lifted to the ceiling. She unclasped her bra and tossed it in, as well, before moving to grab her black chemise from the foot bench of the bed and slip it on over her head, still eyeing her restless wife in bed.

Alex moaned and then gasped. "No…" she said softly. "Please, don't…" she whimpered.

Olivia lifted the covers and slid beneath them and moved into her wife and wrapped her arm around her. No words were said. But she could feel her wife move further into her and wrap her own arm around her, the two now holding each other tightly, body against body.

Olivia closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to the blonde's, feeling her warm breath on her mouth, her wife's body begin to settle. Alex took a deep breath and then let it out slowly before cuddling into her further, her trembling ceasing. And within seconds, the blonde's deep, restful breathing could be heard, signaling her wife had fallen back to sleep.

And Olivia relished in the feeling, the sensation of her wife in her arms, feeling her body and entire being begin to relax against her, knowing that this was going to take time, her wife needing all of her along the way. And Olivia would be there for the woman in this world that she couldn't imagine life without.

She closed her own eyes and drifted to sleep, eager to see the three men who brutalized her wife, perhaps, begin just one of their many future days in court.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you to those of you who read and review. I hope you enjoyed.**


	12. Chapter 12

12

Olivia lay in bed feeling a certain emptiness next to her. She slid her right hand across the smooth sheet, extending her arm, and felt nothing but cool cotton. Her wife wasn't there.

She opened her eyes and turned her head to the right and the empty space and crumpled sheets confirmed her wife's absence.

She sat up then and yawned before reaching to the left for her iPhone on her bedside table and lifting it, squinting to read the time as she depressed the home button.

3:13 a.m.

She placed her phone back on her night stand and yawned again as she swept the covers aside and swung her legs off of the bed and placed her feet on the floor, yawning once more and shaking her head to try and wake up.

She stood and went to the foot bench and took her robe, placing it on as she slowly began to walk out of the room and down the hallway, realizing how exhausted she was as she shuffled.

She loosely tied the belt and then moved up to the first room on the right—the twin's room—and peeked inside the cracked door. It was dark, contented breathing coming from two beings inside, Grace on her side, and Isabel on her back, both girls out cold.

She stepped away then and glanced down to the end of the hallway at the closed guest room door, where the elder Cabot's were staying, before she continued down the hallway and reached Theo's room, noting that the door was opened all the way. She carefully walked inside to find her wife sitting on the floor, back against the wall beneath the window to the right of their son's bed. Her knees were up against her chest, and her arms were folded on top of her knees. And she was just watching him.

Olivia moved further into the room then and Alex looked up and, even in the dimness, the brunette could see that the lower lids of her eyes were filled with tears.

"Hey…" Olivia whispered as she traveled closer and crouched to join her wife on the floor.

Alex leaned her head to the right and rested it on Olivia's shoulder. "I've been making the rounds.

Olivia smiled and reached for Alex's cheek, holding it gently. "Oh, yeah?"

Alex nodded against her. "I was in the girls' room for about an hour…"

Olivia moved her face closer and kissed her wife's temple. "And how long have you been in here, Babe?"

"About the same…"

Olivia closed her eyes, a pang of pain piercing her heart at Alex's divulgence.

Olivia had seen Alex at her worst—when Katie died, she had been an absolute wreck. But this. With her wife having gone through such a horrible nightmare, the death of such a huge part of her wife's childhood and upbringing paled in comparison to what had just happened to her, and the brunette knew that these two very different experiences would take two very different healing journeys.

She kissed Alex's warm, soft skin again. "Let's go downstairs, Al…talk…"

Alex nodded and Olivia stood and held out her hands, pulling her wife to a standing position. The blonde smiled and they wrapped their arms around each other's waists, but Alex broke away briefly to kiss Theo gently on the forehead and adjust his blankets around his shoulders before returning to her.

Alex slipped her arm around her again and they exited the room, Olivia shutting the door halfway behind her.

* * *

Alex watched her wife at the counter, Olivia's back to her, as she prepared the chamomile tea. Deep purple robe on, silky, dark hair down and tousled, and she looked absolutely gorgeous—even in the middle of the night.

Olivia turned then and began approaching with a mug in each hand, a smile on her face. She came up to the table and set one cup in front of Alex before she sat at the head and placed her own mug down and then sat and leaned back, looking at her. "Babe…?" Olivia reached forward and held her arm out, palm facing upward.

Alex placed her hand in the brunette's and they intertwined their fingers, the blonde studying their linked digits on the table, watching as Olivia began caressing her fingers gently with her thumb. Alex felt that lump again, felt her tears begin again—she seemed to be an on again off again faucet—and then took a small, slow deep breath in, and then let it out just as slowly.

Finally, she looked up and into the most empathetic eyes she had ever known—her wife's. The warmth of the chocolate hue in those orbs, the sincerity, the love they held, caused Alex's emotions to further build.

And those beautiful brown eyes gradually began filling with tears, as well. "I am _so_ worried about you, Al…" Olivia whispered.

Alex nodded slowly. "I know." She swallowed again and looked down at their hands. "I'm worried about myself, too." She lifted her gaze back to her wife. "I just can't seem to shake this."

Olivia laughed lightly beside her. "No one expects you to shake this, Babe. It was less than two days ago, my love. This is going to take time to get through, Al."

Alex nodded again, feeling her face wrinkle. "But I want my life back, Liv," she whimpered. "The way everything was. I want everything back. And it just feels…so different…"

Olivia stood then and moved up to the blonde, leaning over. Alex stood and the two moved into each other, the brunette holding her tightly and Alex returning the hug with equal strength.

Alex felt her wife's hands slowly move up and down the length of her back then and she closed her eyes, relishing in the soothing sensation.

"I know, Babe." Olivia's voice was soft.

Alex felt Olivia's pillowy lips on her cheek then and she clenched her wife tighter, the warm softness of her wife such a comfort, a familiarity, a devotion. "Make love to me, Olivia…" she uttered softly.

She felt Olivia pause momentarily and then the gentle sliding of her strong hands continued.

"Alex…" Olivia began, her tone reluctant, and no other words came out.

Alex began shaking then, her sobs growing in strength from her wife's minimal response. Alex held on to Olivia tighter then, firmly pressing her body against hers, letting her hands slide along the silky fabric of her robe, feeling the warmth of her curves. The blonde turned her face and let her nose run along the silkiness of her wife's neck, taking in her scent, smelling her essence, before placing a delicate kiss there. She then let her kisses begin to travel along her jaw line, the intensity of her motions increasing as she heightened the strength of what she was doing, her mouth now sucking, kissing in an almost frantic manner.

And she felt out of her body somehow. Like this wasn't her that had her mouth on Olivia. As her hands began to grip the brunette's hips and backside with absolute need, it was as though an unseen force was at work.

Olivia moaned, tilting her head back. "Alex…please…"

Then, firm hands to the blonde's shoulders and Alex found herself separated from her wife, those cocoa eyes now looking at her with even more piteous responsiveness.

Alex covered her face with her hands and she could feel the anxiety, the tension, the frustration overwhelm her then as a wave of violent trembling overtook her and her knees buckled beneath her, her wife catching her before she hit the ground.

And Olivia was on her then, wrapped around her, as they both sat in a heap on the kitchen floor, rocking, crying, releasing.

"Shhhh," Olivia soothed, rocking her gently.

"I'm sorry, Liv," Alex whimpered.

"Stop, Al. There's nothing to be sorry about."

And Alex nodded against her, knowing that her wife understood her so well, so completely, that no explanation was needed.

Alex closed her eyes and spoke into the brunette's shoulder. "It's just that…I keep seeing that ceiling, those cracks…I can smell that apartment. I can smell the alcohol on Pedro's breath, his body odor. I can feel the dampness of him. I can feel my skin burning from the ropes. I can hear their voices."

Olivia's hand continued to run slow circles along her back and Alex moved further into her.

"I'm in the safest place I can be, Liv. When I'm with you, in our house, surrounded by our family, it's always been perfection to me. You've always made me feel so secure, Liv."

"And you, me, Al," Olivia agreed. "You always have made me feel the same."

Alex let her right hand cradle the base of her wife's head then and she began running her fingers through her thick, silky hair. "But when I close my eyes…and sleep comes in…it's all there again. I just can't get rid of it."

"It's gonna take time, Al."

They held each other for a few moments, the blonde hearing her wife's breathing, feeling her solid body, the tenderness of her touch.

"Do you still think about it? About what happened to you?" Alex questioned.

Olivia nodded against her. "Yeah, Al. I do. And I know you can always tell, Al…when I _am_ thinking about it, right?" She pulled away then and looked Alex's face over before moving a lock of hair behind her ear and cocking her head to the side and smiling.

Alex nodded and smiled back.

"It comes back, Babe. Even though it was over two years ago, I still have nightmares every now and then…I still remember…" Olivia smiled wider then. "Hey…you think we can…can we…move to the sofa? Get off the floor?"

Alex grinned back. "Of course, Babe."

Olivia and Alex stood then and the brunette took her wife's hand before they moved to the sectional and sat—the brunette sitting legs outstretched along the length—while Alex crawled to lay on top of her, resting the left side of her head on Olivia's upper chest. The blonde felt her wife's left arm wrap around her and her right begin to stroke her back as Alex slid her hands beneath Olivia's upper back and buried her hands beneath her shoulder blades, getting settled in.

"And Dr. Lindstrom…you went to him three times a week for a year and now you go once every couple of months…" Alex thought aloud. "Did he help you?"

"He did, Al. He helped a lot in the beginning. He's trained in dealing with those kinds of experiences and he knew what to ask and what to say to help me, so…yeah, he helped me a lot when it first happened."

"But?" Alex brought her right hand from underneath Olivia's back and placed it on her wife's upper arm.

"But…after a year, I was much better and life went on and I saw how much you and Theo and Iz and Gracie were my healing. How you all were the glue that held me together and made me appreciate…made me sane."

Alex opened her eyes and looked off into the distance, staring into space. "That makes sense…"

They lay again, in silence for a few moments, just enjoying each other.

"I don't know what I would have done if the kids hadn't made it back and I had survived…" Alex felt her throat begin to constrict then, her eyes begin to well with tears. "I kept thinking…if something had happened to them…I don't think I could've gone on..."

"But nothing happened to them, Babe," Olivia offered. "They're just fine. As quirky and crazy and sweet and adorable as ever…"

Alex felt her wife's fingers in her hair then, stroking her scalp with her fingernails.

Alex's lids began to get heavier, she felt her eyeballs begin to roll, until fatigue overtook her and she closed them. "Can we stay here, Liv?"

"We can do that, Al…"

"Thanks, Babe…" Alex tried, speaking now becoming an effort. "and…I might try Lind…s…" she yawned and buried her face into her wife's clavicle, "…strom…"

"OK, Babe…"

She could hear Olivia smiling through her words.

"I love you, Liv…"

"I love you more, Al…always…"

* * *

And Olivia could hear her wife's breathing deepen, felt her arms relax against her, her grip lessen. She glanced down and saw that her wife's mouth was parted, tiny snores being emitted.

Olivia thought about her wife's roundabout admission to possibly needing to talk to a professional about what happened to her, and the brunette couldn't help but to think that Alex seeing a therapist could be beneficial to her. Dr. Lindstrom had helped Olivia and, when the time came to lessen their sessions and taper off to only when she thought it necessary once she had recovered enough and the constant night and daymares had ceased, she had stopped.

And Alex would know, as well, when that time would be right for her.

Olivia shifted her legs beneath her wife and then adjusted her back and backside, sinking further into the couch. She took a deep breath and then let it out, feeling her wife's weight on top of her, feeling Alex's contentedness, and feeling her own body begin to enter sleep.

* * *

Arraignment had been that morning and bail had been set, none able to afford it. Raul was still pleading not guilty and the prosecution was looking into offering a plea bargain in return for a change in admission of guilt. Armando and Pedro pleaded guilty on all counts and sentencing was set for some time later in the week. All wished to avoid a trial, if at all possible.

Rosa was still no where to be found, possibly having left the area, perhaps the state or country, entirely, and Armando and Pedro hadn't said a word about her whereabouts, either. Raul had also kept his lips sealed on her possible location, but not his less-than-stellar opinion of her. Neighbors and Abuelita had been questioned with no leads and no clues as to where the young woman had fled.

Fin had also put out photos to all of the pawn shops in the area and in the five boroughs, letting all of them know that if rings matching the pics were currently at the site, or happened to be brought in, to contact NYPD as soon as possible.

The rings hadn't been found in the apartment, even after an extensive search, and so the hunt had been expanded to pawn shops, thrift shops, and secondhand stores in the entire area in hopes that Alex's rings would somehow turn up.

And when they had been found, Olivia had been more than ecstatic, and she couldn't wait to share the news with her wife.

She had just picked them up from evidence earlier that morning, after the arraignment—the rings having been dusted and photographed already and Olivia having begged for their early release—and the brunette had also just returned from having them professionally cleaned.

With the kids at school, the older Cabots out running shopping errands, and Alex at home taking some time off of work to heal, Olivia had something that she desperately wanted to do. Something she knew would make her wife more than elated.

She pulled the BMW into the garage, in between the Datsun and the Rover, and turned the car off, reaching for the surprise she had in the passenger seat next to her, smiling to herself.

She took the container into her hands and then exited the car, closing it with her hip before she moved to the garage door leading to the kitchen. Opening it quietly, she could immediately hear the whir of the dryer, the rinsing of the washing machine cycle, the scent of fabric softener hitting her senses.

Creeping further inside the house, she shut the door quietly behind her and stepped forward, noticing her wife on the sofa with a cup of coffee in her hands, sipping, looking casual in a pair of heather gray joggers and a white cardigan, her bare feet tucked beneath her and to the side, her hair up in a messy bun, glasses on, eyes on Chris Cuomo CNN on the TV.

Olivia moved closer, holding the surprise behind her back.

Alex looked up, slightly taken aback.

"Hey, Al…" Olivia smiled.

"Liv? What are you—? Is everything OK?" Alex leaned forward and placed her mug on the coffee table before untucking her feet and sitting cross-legged and bracing herself to begin to stand.

"Don't get up, Al. I just came home because I wanted to give you something." Olivia smiled, the gift in both of her hands behind her back.

"Give me something?" Alex raised her eyebrows, smiling.

Olivia nodded. "A surprise."

"You came home just to give me a surprise? It couldn't wait until tonight?" Alex smirked then.

Olivia shook her head. "No, it couldn't." Olivia sat on the sectional, right next to her wife. "Close your eyes, Babe."

A commercial came on the TV then, an ad for a new Buick blaring vibrant, loud dubstep music. Olivia reached over with her left hand and grabbed the remote control and muted it before setting it back on the coffee table. She then returned her left hand to behind her back.

"They're closed, right?" Olivia ducked her head lower and then moved to the left and then to the right, inspecting her wife's eyes.

"They're closed, Liv." Alex smiled.

Olivia brought the small, black, glossy hinged box from behind her then, glancing at the gold lettering on top. "OK, Al. Open them."

Alex's blue eyes opened and she looked at Olivia grinning wide before she looked down at what the brunette was offering. The blonde's eyes went wide then, her mouth opening in shock, before those amazing blues looked back at her.

"You found them?"

Olivia's heart melted at her wife's expression. "We did, Babe. And…do you recognize the box?"

Alex nodded quickly. "Where we both got our rings for each other…in Southampton." She looked back at it. "Is that the… _same_ box, Liv?" Her eyes met her own.

"It is, Al. I dug it out of our artifacts. I had both rings professionally cleaned and all shined up and they're as good as new."

Alex's eyes filled with tears then, her lower lip trembling. "I'm so glad…" she whispered, "…I want…" she sniffed, "…I want to see them."

Olivia smiled. "I can do better than that, Al…" The brunette leaned closer and then moved onto the floor, kneeling on her left knee and holding the box out to her before lifting the lid. She couldn't help but smile as she watched her wife so happy, the joy radiating her every feature. "Will you, Alexandra Elizabeth Benson-Cabot, be my bride for ever and ever, until the end of all infinity?" Olivia raised her eyebrows.

Alex took her wife's face in her hands, nodding emphatically, tears now streaming down her cheeks. "Yes, yes, yes…a million, trillion, quadrillion times yes…" Alex uttered.

Olivia removed the rings from the box and then took her wife's left hand. She brought the milky creaminess to her mouth and kissed her ring finger gently before sliding them onto her slender digit. She eyed them before looking back into her eyes.

"Beautiful," Olivia said softly. "Thank you for making me the happiest woman in history, Al."

Alex only nodded and Olivia moved further onto her knees and into her wife and they held each other tightly.

"We're gonna get through this, Alex," Olivia promised. "However long it takes. Whatever support you need, Babe. We'll overcome this together. OK?"

Alex nodded against her. "With you, Liv…we can do anything," she whispered.

* * *

 **A/N: All I can say is…I love the relationship part of this. Forgive any legally incorrect writings. I never wanted to deal with writing a court case, etc. because I am not equipped. So, let's just focus on the ladies. All I've ever wanted to do. I hope to hear from you. And some more favorites would be great.**

 **Favorites bring readers.**

 **So please favorite.**

 **And review this last chapter to let me know how you liked it!**

 **I think I'm done with this particular story. It's really been depressing and draining for me, as I get all-consumed when I write a story/chapter.**

 **I have written what is important to the plot, I think, and it has closure.**

 **Thank you for all of the favorites, follows, and reviews for this one. I look forward to hearing from those of you who read it after the fact.**

 **If you are a fan of the entire LWL series, you know how their lives turn out, so all is good:)**

 **I will now focus on the "Memories", the "Hot and Heavy" and the "Vacations" sections (upbeat and happy!) so please favorite those to get updates.**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


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